


Story of My Life

by lilyangel



Category: Original Work/WWE
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-09-12
Updated: 2011-09-28
Packaged: 2017-10-23 16:36:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 16
Words: 30,751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/252484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lilyangel/pseuds/lilyangel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My name is Leilani Angel Cordoza. I have told this story so many times that I have decided to write everything down for the first time.  It seems that once one person knows they tell someone else about me and then I end up having to repeat myself over and over again.  So here it is the story of my life.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Beginning

My story starts off just like everyone else’s. I was born on September 22, 1989 in Santa Rosa, Utuado, Puerto Rico. My mother was a teen mother who found out she was pregnant at the beginning of her senior year. You would think that sounds normal for our times, which it is, except for my grandfather. My mother’s father was not happy about his daughter having a child, especially since she had no idea who the father was. The only thing she knew was that he was from Georgia and in Hawaii for summer vacation. At least that is what he told her. She’s not entirely sure if any of that is true. I do know what she was thinking; I had found her diary that she kept during her senior year. My mother’s name is Maria Santoya. Her father is Puerto Rican and her mother is Hawaiian. For the last ten years she has lived with her father in Puerto Rico and visited her mother in Hawaii during her breaks. I’ve never met my grandfather and there is a pretty good reason for that.

I just got back from my summer vacation. I spent the summer with my mother in Hawaii. Being with her is much different than living with my dad. She’s a little stricter but also lets me have a little more freedom. She understands that hanging out with my friends is more important to me than hanging out at home all day. Especially during the summer, the only time I get to see my Hawaiian friends. I love spending time with my mom, but I also like to spend as much time as I can with my friends before I have to go home to Puerto Rico. My friends and I don’t do a whole lot, mostly spend time at the beach during the day and then at night hit the clubs or luaus. One night we went out to this nightclub that was holding a high school party. The club had all the fun without the alcohol. We had other plans but from what we had been hearing all day this was one party we could not miss. So instead of our original plans, we went to the club and it was a blast. The place was packed and loud. We spent about an hour in line just waiting to get in. By the time we got in the place was packed and the dance floor had disappeared. All you could see was bodies lined up everywhere. We stayed together for the first hour and then after that everyone went their separate ways. While I was out on the dance floor, this good looking guy came up behind me and started dancing with me. We danced all night it seemed. The club owners finally told everyone it was time to start heading home. Trevor, the guy from the nightclub, offered to walk me home. We ended up taking the long way and instead of going home, we stopped at the beach and sat and talked most of the night. Trevor seemed like a really nice guy. He didn’t tell me much about himself except he was thinking about going to college and majoring in business. He wanted to start his own business, in what he wasn’t sure. Trevor and I ended up spending the rest of the summer together. On our last night together, Trevor asked me to spend the night with him at his place. I’m not sure what I was thinking, spending the night with a guy I didn’t know that well and then sleeping with him. I have this funny feeling that one little mistake is going to cost me a lot. I don’t know why I feel that way but I do. And when I get those feelings they usually end up being right. Right now I’m just going to finish up my last year of high school and then get on a plane to anywhere.

My mother was just another victim of summer guys hooking up with girls just so they can brag about it in school. She’s not even sure if Trevor was his real name. She spent all that time with him and never learned a thing about him. Now I can’t say I’m any better but at least I know if someone is lying to me. Something I picked up later in life. Anyway, my mother had a hard time just trying to finish high school with the perfect grades that she was expected to get. Her father wanted her to have a better life than he had, but I guess every parent feels that way about their child. So, my mother tried her hardest to please my grandfather. From what I’ve been told that isn’t the easiest thing to do. It would be easier to get away from a great white shark than to please him. See why I’m glad I didn’t get to know him. For some reason I don’t think he would be pleased with me and the way I live my life.

School this year is going to be the hardest. I’m taking every class I can that will help with college credit. Most of my classes are AP so that means twice as much work. But I am ready for everything they throw at me. After I graduate I’m going to take a year off and travel around the world. I want to see the world before I spend at least four years in college. Plus depending on what I decide to do I could spend up to nine to ten years in college. Then after that is finding a job, working my way up the ladder, and then getting married, having kids. By the time I’ll get to travel again I’ll be so old. I’m not sure where I want to go but right now anywhere but here sounds great. I know I would love to go to Europe, Asia, and Africa. After that I’ll go wherever the wind takes me. Now that I’m thinking about it, I think I’ll head towards France first. Go to Paris and enjoy the sites. Just go and be a tourist and soak it all in. Then maybe from there I'll head to Greece. I’ve always loved Greek mythology and just being to able to see the beautiful country side. I’m definitely going to Greece. There are so many different places I want to visit I just don’t know where to start. I guess I decide by how much money I have and where I can afford to go. Of course trying to make sure I have enough money to go where I want to go without having to get a job. I’m not sure how I’m going to manage that but I’ll think of something. Maybe I’ll work during the school year and save up all my money just to make sure I don’t have to ask my parents for money so I can travel. I know what my dad will say, no. My mom I know will help me. She’s always wished she could’ve traveled more but she had her family first. By the time I was old enough, her and my dad had split up. So now she’s stuck in Hawaii having to take care of herself while my dad enjoys doing nothing all day long. I do not want to end up like him. No life. All he does all day long is sit around and either watches television or sits outside and stares up into space. Me, I want to live life to its fullest like my mom is always telling me. Enjoy life before it’s too late. And that’s exactly what I’m going to do.

In some ways my mother and I are a lot alike. She’s always wanted to travel and I get to travel all the time. I love going to different places and seeing how the cultures from all over live together. Or at least try.

All my dreams, my hopes, are gone. My dad has kicked me out of the house. Thankfully I have some great friends who are letting me stay with them for a little while. My father has even gone as far as saying that I have created the devil’s angel. I haven’t told my mom yet for fear of what she will say. If my dad reacted this way then I know my mom will have a similar reaction. I know she won’t go as far as the devil comment but I know she’ll be disappointed in me. My summer of innocent fun has turned into a lifetime commitment. My travel plans are on hold for I don’t know how long. School is going to be tougher than I thought it would be. Going out with my friends and having fun all weekend long is over. I now have to find a job so I can work some hours just so I have enough money to support us. I can’t even ask Trevor for help because all I know is his first name and that he lives somewhere in Georgia. I don’t even know if he was telling me the truth. I just found out last week that I’m three months pregnant. I don’t know what I’m going to do. Everything I had planned, my future is flying out the window as I speak. At least I found a doctor that will help me out since I don’t know how I’m going to pay for doctors visits or any other help I’m going to need. Not to mention how I’m going to be able to afford baby stuff. I’m going to have to weigh all my options. Either I’m going to find a way to keep the baby or I’m going to give it up for adoption. Those are the only two options I’m going to consider.

I know this is a really bad thing to say but by the end of my story I’m sure you will agree with me. I wish my mother had gone with option number two, give me up for adoption. She was not ready for the mother role and with the help she got I’d probably been better off not even being born. I know not the kind of stuff a person should be talking about but considering everything I’d gone through in my life it’s an easy thing for me to say. There have been times I wished that was true. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Maybe we should read a little more from my mother’s diary. I’ve read this so many times that I can recite it from memory. I don’t know why I’ve read this horrible book but I had to know what my mother was thinking in my first seven years of life. The seven years that I am grateful I don’t remember. Now if only I could forget the last twenty years of my life I’d be living a good life.

Today I went in for my first doctor’s visit. It wasn’t anything special, just checking my weight and making sure the baby’s heart beat was strong. It wasn’t too bad; I figured it would have been a lot worst. School on the other hand is hard. Taking all those AP classes doesn’t seem like a good idea anymore but I’ll manage somehow. I got myself into this mess so I have to deal with the consequences. Anyways, everything is going fine considering. I get up in the morning and deal with the nausea, then I’m off to school for what seems like hours, and then I’m off to work to help pay for everything I need. The good news is I’m making enough money to find myself an apartment or a little house so I don’t have to live with my friends for much longer. Not that I don’t like living with them but sometimes their parents are worse than mine. I still haven’t told my mom yet about the baby. I’m still worried about what she’s going to say to me. I haven’t seen my father in a few days. I’m not sure if me being around him while I’m pregnant is a good idea. Especially with this whole devil’s angel thing it’s kind of scary so I think I’ll stay away from him for awhile.

Even before I was born I was considered a bad thing. My grandfather was part of some wacky group that believed the devil would send a demon to earth to destroy it. Don’t know where that came from and really don’t care. All I know is that when he found out my mother was pregnant with me he started in on how the Devil had picked his victim to give birth to his angel. He already knew I was going to be a girl and that I would use temptation on man to destroy the world. I have looked everywhere for this so called angel and have found nothing. I have found two demons or fallen angels that could be the ones. There is Azza, who was once the angel of Justice. I guess she could work, maybe getting angry at God for casting her out and wanting to get a little revenge. I don’t know but the next one works a little better. My guess is that I am supposed to be the demon Asmodeus. She is the demon that is paired with lust, the biggest sin of man. So I guess since I’m suppose to use man to help me, what better way than through lust. Nice thing to think of when talking about an unborn child.

Well I’m at month four, and the nausea is getting worse. My doctor says everything is fine and that by month five I should be done with the whole morning sickness thing. I hope so because getting up in the morning and having to go to school is not fun at all. I’m doing well with my grades so at least I don’t have that to worry about. My job is keeping me busy in the evening so there’s little time to really think of anything else. I did find me a nice little place of my own. It’s a nice little two bedroom house with a little backyard. Right now I’m thinking about keeping the baby. I think it’s the right decision to make right now. I mean I’m the one who messed up so I shouldn’t punish the baby. I’ve got an appointment next month with my doctor to find out if I’m having a boy or a girl. I’m kind of hoping for a boy but either way I’m going to be happy. I actually talked to my dad yesterday. He’s still not crazy about the idea of me having a baby but at least he hasn’t said anything negative. At least not yet he hasn’t. I know he’s thinking it I can tell by the look on his face. I know he’s wrong; there is nothing wrong with my baby. Just because I don’t know anything about the father doesn’t mean my baby is the devils angel. My baby is going to be perfect no matter what my dad says. I’m even thinking about calling my mom tomorrow and telling her the good news. I know now she’ll be happy for me. Since I’m her only child and this will be her first and maybe only grandchild. Even though I’m young, I know I can handle this. My mom raised me right, taught me how to be strong in any situation that comes across my path. I just hope she was right.

Now if my grandmother HAD raised my mother I’m sure my life would be completely different. But she didn’t, my grandfather did and as you will find out my mother couldn’t handle all the pressure he was putting on her. And he put so much pressure on her later on. I don’t see how she could live with someone like that. I mean there has to be something wrong with that man; normal people don’t do the things I’ve read that he’s done. But again I’m getting ahead of myself. Now let’s get back to more journal pages.

You know only being able to write in here once a month is getting a little irritating. I’m use to being able to write a little more. Oh well, I’m just going to have to get use to it. Anyways, five months down and four more to go. My doctor’s appointment was last week and I’m just able to write it down. I did call my mom like I said I was going to do. She was a little disappointed that I got pregnant at such a young age but she was happy with me that I was taking the right steps to deal with all this on my own. I called her after I went to the doctor’s so I could tell her what her grandchild was going to be. I even told my dad and he just looked at me and told me that he was right. I don’t know what to believe anymore, what if he’s right. He gave me a book that has all this stuff about the devil using someone to give birth to an angel that will bring death and destruction to the earth. Now if I was having a boy (by the way it’s a girl) I wouldn’t give this one more thought. Now I’m a little worried about having this baby. Maybe I won’t keep her after all, maybe I’ll give her up for adopting and letting some other family deal with her just in case. But then again I don’t know if I could go on with my life knowing I let the devil’s angel live and try to destroy the world. What am I saying; my dad is going a little crazy. He’s been losing his mind for the last couple of years. My mom keeps telling me to watch what I believe. I know there are other people who believe in this stuff because he said he got the book from a friend of his. Can there really be people out there that could believe something like this would really happen? I mean is it really possible that all this mumbo jumbo could really be true? What would this mean for my baby? I mean would she be normal or would there be something wrong with her? There is just too much that I don’t understand. I don’t want to believe my dad but what if he is right. I want to believe my mom that my dad is crazy and not to believe him at all. I just don’t know what I’m going to do. I’m going to have the baby but after that I don’t know what I’m going to do with her. I better figure it out soon I’ve only got four months to go before she gets here.

My grandmother told me once that my grandfather had a way of getting into people’s heads. That he could get them to believe anything that he says. That’s a scary thought considering I can do the same thing to people. Hopefully this doesn’t mean I’m going to go crazy as I get older. Well I’m already a little crazy so does this mean I’m on my way to losing my mind. I hope so then someone else can worry about what happens in my life and I can just sit back and enjoy the rest of my miserable crazy life. Right like I want someone taking control of my life.

I’ve been reading more in that book my dad left me. The more I read the more I’m starting to believe what my dad told me. This is starting to scary me a lot. What if my child is the devils angel? I’ve decided to keep her and raise her myself. I don’t want some other family to have to live through this nightmare. I’m going to have to keep her hidden from the world. My dad’s friend says there is a way to keep her quiet and to suppress the devils will. He’s even sent me to a doctor that has dealt with this before. There are certain things I have to do during the rest of my pregnancy that will help ensure she doesn’t have that much power when she is born. I’ve already picked out her name. Her first name is going to be Leilani which means Heavenly Flower (lei) in Hawaiian. Her middle name is going to be Angel which means Messenger of God in Greek. Two names that have to do with heaven and God and nothing that will help the devil gain control of her. So my little girl is going to be called Leilani Angel. It’s a beautiful name for what I know is going to be a beautiful little girl. When Leilani is born I’m going to have another friend of my dad’s come and bless her at the hospital. I’m going to do whatever I can to make sure HE doesn’t get a hold of her. I want her to be able to grow up and have a normal life. I’m not even going to tell her anything about this. I don’t want her to know and think she’s different from others. All I can say at this point is God bless my little girl.

God bless my little girl. Hum, I’m going to go out on a limb here and say that didn’t work. Can’t understand why but I’m pretty sure that God wasn’t the one who blessed me. I know what you’re thinking because everyone says it at this point. God blesses every child that is born. I know he does and I know that without him I would not be here. I’m just saying that I think someone else got a little blessing passed him. If not then I’ve been tested all my life and I’m hoping I passed and am done with this test. Ahead of myself again, but don’t worry I do this when tell people my story all the time. I’m a bit confusing. Ok maybe a lot bit confusing, and yes I know that didn’t make sense.

Two more months to go before Leilani arrives. My doctor tells me everything is going great. She’s healthy and has a very strong heartbeat. She’s also very, very active all day and all night long. I’ve been doing a lot more school work on the weekends to try and get ahead. I’ve been placed in a different school that deals with pregnant teens. My teacher says that if I can get ahead and pass all my tests I can be out of school before Leilani comes. That would be great if I could graduate before she arrives. I’m still working after school, even though my dad is helping out with any money I need. He’s helping out a lot more now that he knows I believe him. I haven’t really talked to my mom a whole lot. I just try to tell her about school, work and a little about Leilani. She thinks her name is absolutely beautiful. She loves the fact that her first name is Hawaiian. I leave out all the other stuff because I know she wouldn’t understand any of it. There are times that I don’t believe in it but I’m still going ahead with everything I’ve got planned just in case. I don’t want to jinx anything by changing anything. I want to make sure that Leilani is protected from what she is meant to be. I don’t want to have to deal with the problem if she does find out what she is and embraces it. I don’t want to be known as the mother to the devils angel. I’m just going to have to work extremely hard to make sure it never gets to that point. And I know I’ll have my dad there to help me if I need it. The others have been helping me out since I started to believe.

Yes it is official; I came from a crazy family. But then again that explains a lot about my family now and how they became family. That’s later in my story. Anyways back to the drama of my pre-birth months.

It’s almost time for Leilani to arrive and I am so ready for this to be over with. I have been sick the whole entire time and I’m, well, sick of it. I just want to be able to walk around without getting that sick feeling. That and just being able to walk will be nice again. Everything is ready. I’ve passed all my tests at school, so I don’t have to go anymore. Then when it’s time to graduate I can just show up and get my diploma. I’ve taken leave from work so I don’t have much to do during the day. My dad is staying with me and helping me around the house. My mom even called to say she wanted to come out and help. She wants to be here when Leilani arrives. I told my dad and he talked to the doctor about me having her sooner. We don’t want my mom to find out what we have planned for Lani. So we’re thinking about going ahead and inducing labor so my mom won’t be here. I hate to do this to her but I know if she’s here she will make us stop what we are doing and try to take Lani with her. I can’t have my mom raising Leilani; she won’t know what to do with her or how to protect her. I know how to protect her from the evil and how to keep the world safe from her. And I know how to keep her safe from herself. I know it’s going to be hard but I’m willing to dedicate my life to making sure that the world is safe from any evil that may or may not exist. I’m even willing to give my life to make sure that nothing ever happens.

Her life, she was willing to give her life to make sure nothing happens. That’s kind of funny since I’m the one that….maybe this is why I hate telling this story.

She is absolutely beautiful. Leilani Angel Santoya was born at 3:38 this afternoon. She weighs six pounds and 8 ounces. She is 18 inches long. And she is so beautiful. I’m glad I picked the name Leilani for her, it fits her perfectly. I’m glad I decided to go through with this and keep her. My mom will be here in a few days to help me out, which is going to be a blessing. I have this feeling I’m going to need all the help I can get from whom ever wants to help. That defiantly was not the easiest thing I’ve ever been through. I even went through it without the help of any type of medicine. My doctor said that would just feed the evil so I went without. This is defiantly going to be my only child. I cannot go through that again. With that said, I so love my daughter. Even though I know she is the devils angel, she is my beautiful little girl. Ella pertenece al diablo, ella debe morir (It belongs to the devil, she must die). I’ve been hearing that since her birth. I know it is true but I can’t bring myself to do it. I’m not going to let any of them harm her either. I will raise Leilani the right way and I will do what I can to drive the devil from her. At least my mom will be here soon and then they’ll leave me alone. They won’t try to hurt Leilani while my mom is here. They don’t want anyone seeing or hearing anything they do. So as long as my mom is here then Leilani will be safe. Maybe I should start thinking about asking my mom if I can come and live with her. Leilani would defiantly be safe in Hawaii, away from these people here. I know I’m the one that started believing what they said and have asked for their help but I didn’t mean for them to help me kill my child. I only asked them to help drive out the evil that is inside of her.

She’s starting to make sense again but don’t worry it won’t last for long.

My mom arrived yesterday to help me out with Leilani. My dad has stayed away since my mom showed up. That’s great news for me. He’s been trying to tell me what I need to do to Leilani. I mean I know what has to be done, but there has got to be another way around it. If I raise her by the way of God then that should help make her good, shouldn’t it. I’ve already started reading her the bible while I lay her down to sleep. I’m hoping that will help but I don’t know for sure. I hope the power of good is stronger than evil. But from what I’ve read in my father’s books that might not be true. I want to believe that’s wrong, I really do but it’s so hard to. My father and his friends have completely convinced me that they are right about everything. I know they are there watching my every move making sure I’m not doing something wrong. I’m afraid to leave her alone in one place because I keep thinking they’re going to sneak in and take Leilani. Even when I put her down to sleep I’m either close by or in the same room as her, to make sure she is safe from harm. At night I put here right next to me in a little bassinet and I check on her I don’t know how many times. It just scares me the thought of losing her. I don’t know what I would do if they took her away from me. I don’t know what they would do to HER if they took her away. They might just do away with her or worse they may keep her. What if that was their plan all along. What if they wanted me to believe they were trying to help me but in reality they want to raise her the way she’s suppose to be raised. Maybe they want that evil power and are willing to do whatever it takes. No, my dad would never do that to me. I know he’s a little strange but he would never put me in harm’s way. Nor would he put he’s granddaughter’s life in danger. Would he? Well that did it, I’m not sleeping tonight.

Told you it wouldn’t last long. Now my mother is convinced of one of two things. The first thing is that I am the devil’s angel and that she must raise me to be good. Two, my grandfather wants the power for just him and is willing to do anything to get it, even if that means stealing his own granddaughter. Yep I am going to end up crazy in my old age. Or soon depends on which one I take after. Scary thought huh. Oh well at least I know what to expect in my later years.

I’ve decided to stay here in Puerto Rico with my father. Don’t know why I would want to stay here and deal with someone who feels my child should die. I want to go stay with my mom but I get to thinking what if my dad is right? What if Lani turns out to be more than I can handle? I just don’t know if my mom could handle the pressure if Leilani turns out to be evil. I know I can’t not without my dad and his friends.

As you can see she fell into the trap that my grandfather set. My life was doomed from the beginning. There’s not much more to my mother’s diary. Having me and trying to deal with my “problem” was a full time job. There were little bits here and there talking about what she did to make my life better. She would have someone bless me every morning and every night. She read the bible to me every day and night. She tried everything she could think of to make sure I turned out the right way. I can tell you it didn’t work at all. I still turned out having issues with things in life. Not much really happened during the first few years of my life. Thankfully I don’t remember anything before that. I can image the therapy that I would need if I knew what went on in my life. The next biggest change came when I was seven. That’s one day I wish I could forget but it’s one I can’t.


	2. Breakdown

I remember one day when I was seven, my mom treated me extra nice that day. She got me up early that morning and told me we were going on a trip. She got me dressed and we got in the car. I didn’t know where we were going but the car ride took a long time. I fell asleep on the way. My mom woke me up and told me we were there. When I opened my eyes I could see the water. My mom took me to the beach for the first time. We had never gone that far from home before so this was a special treat. Getting to play in the sand for the first time was a lot of fun. My mom and I tried to build a sandcastle but neither of us was very good at it. After we tried to build something, we headed towards the water. We sat at the water’s edge and took in the view. My mom pointed out the different things at the beach. I think that was the first time I’d have that much fun with my mom. Most of the time my mom was too busy with work to play with me. We spent most of the day at the beach. When it was time to go my mom took me out to eat at a local restaurant. Another thing we never did before. By the time we got home it was starting to get dark. My mom gave me a bath and put me to bed. She told me she had fun today and that she loved me very much. I had fun too, it was nice to get out of the house, I wish I’d had more days like this. Getting to spend time with my mom was one of my best memories. I don’t have too many of those.

Dear Lord, I have tried my hardest but have been unable to change her. I have read her every one of your words. I have prayed every single second for her. Nothing has worked. I can see it in her eyes. She has those green eyes, the devil’s eyes. For seven years I have tried to protect her from HIM. Lord, why didn’t you help me. Lani is a good child, I know she is. With your help I know she can overcome this. But for some reason you don’t think she’s worth saving. Why don’t you think she’s worth saving? My Angel is the most important thing in my life, and because of you I have to let her go. I’ve been studying on the right way to do it. If it doesn’t kill her than at least I know she’ll never have children. If I can prevent her from having children, then at least the evil won’t spread. I know I must make sure she dies, but I don’t know if I can bring myself to do it. I have two friends that are going to help me. We are going to wait until she goes to sleep. Then they are going to hold her down and I’m going to do what has to be done. I hope you can forgive me for what I must do. You should forgive me since this is your fault. I just hope Leilani can forgive me for your mistakes. I love you baby girl. Mommy loves you Leilani.

I remember that night very clearly. I was lying in my bed when these two guys grabbed me. They pulled me out of my bed and held me on the ground. One had a hold of my legs and one my arms. I was terrified, not knowing what was going on. Then my mother came into the room with what looked to me like a pitch fork that was missing its two middle teeth. She came in and was praying, asking anyone to help save my soul. Of course, being only seven years old I had no idea what she was talking about. I didn’t know I was in trouble. Didn’t know what my mother thought of me. I remember telling her that I was scared and I asked her to help me. She never said a word to me, just kept praying, telling those men to hold me still. When I realized that she was going to hurt me, I froze.

I stopped crying and lay very still. I guess I was hoping if I did what she wanted she wouldn’t hurt me. It didn’t help me though. I closed my eyes just as she was lowering the pitchfork. I heard her tell me she loved me and then I felt the pitchfork go into my stomach. I just laid there, eyes closed, waiting for my mother to help me, but she didn’t. She and the two guys left my room, headed out the front door, got into a car and left. I somehow got off the floor, sat on my bed, opened my window and yelled as loud as I could. I screamed and screamed waiting for someone to help me. Out next door neighbor, Louis, was the first one in. When he saw me, he burst into tears. Louis locked the door and yelled for someone to call 911. He sat on the bed with me and told me I was going to be okay, that help was on the way. He wouldn’t let anyone in until the paramedics arrived. When they finally got me in the ambulance, they asked for someone to come with me. Louis was the first one to jump in.

I don’t remember much about what went on in the hospital. I know I had to have multiple surgeries to repair the damage. Louis stayed with me in the hospital until I was released. He called into his work and told them what happened. They told him to take all the time he needed. They even set up a fund to help pay for my hospital bills. My neighbors did the same thing. They even paid for my grandmother’s flight out.

When she got there I could tell she was more angry then scared. If she could have taken me away from this mess I know she would have. While she was here, she went through the house and packed up all my stuff. Not that I had much. My mother only bought me what I needed and nothing more. She found my mother’s diary and read parts of it to me. She only read the parts where my mother showed love for me. The other parts I read later on. I spent a couple of weeks in the hospital before I finally got to go home. My grandma and I got everything packed up and shipped out to Hawaii. The plane ride over was a lot of fun. It was the first time I had been on a plane. Back then I loved flying, but not so much now. But that story comes later on. So after seven years of living a nightmare in Puerto Rico, I get to spend my life in beautiful Wailea, Maui, Hawaii. Those years were great. Some of the only few years in my life that I enjoyed.


	3. Hawaii

From the ages of seven to ten I lived in Maui. Wailea is a great place to live. We didn’t live far from the beach, so we spent a lot of time there. Wailea was also just across the ocean from my grandma’s family’s private island. We would go there on some weekends just to get away from everyday life. My grandma called the island Kahoolawe. Me, I just called it Our Island, not an easy name to say; to this day I always say it wrong. We spent a lot of time together, talking and being a family. My first year with grandma was great. The next three years, I learned a lot about myself. On my eighth birthday she took me down to the beach early in the morning. It was so beautiful to see the sun reflecting off the water, and it was just the two of us. I can still remember that day like it was yesterday.

“Today is a very special day for you Lily.”

“I know grandma. Today I am eight years old.”

“Yes, that is right.” She said smiling. “But that’s not all. Today you will begin learning about who you truly are.”

I wasn’t sure what she was talking about at first. I mean I knew who I was. My grandma was always calling me Lily. My grandma’s favorite flowers were lilies. She’d told me they were the most beautiful flower in the world. Since I was her favorite (actually only) grandchild and the most beautiful little girl, she was going to call me Lily. I think it was just a way to rid me of anything my mother gave me. Don’t get me wrong I love my name but I love Lily more. Anyways back to that day.

“Today I will tell you just how blessed you are. Both from God and Pele.”

“But grandma isn’t Pele the goddess of fire? What would she want with me?”

“My dear child, she has plenty to do with you. Just because she deals with fire doesn’t mean she’s bad. The two of them have given you something special.”

“Like what? I don’t feel special.”

“You see the world differently than most. You have been blessed with the gift of sight.”

“Grandma that’s silly. Of course I can see so can you. There are a lot of people in the world that can see.”

“You’re right. Okay let’s take a little test.”

“But Grams, it’s the weekend I don’t want to take any tests.”

“Don’t worry Lily; it’s a fun test, not like the ones you take in school. Okay first question, what do you see when you look out at the water?”

“That’s a silly question, Grandma. What do you see?”

“Me? Well, I see the waves, the sun reflecting off the surface. Now what about you, what do you see?”

“I see an amazing world. With millions of creatures that all play an important role in each other’s lives. They live just like we do. There are nice fish and not so nice fish. But without them there would be no us.”

My grandma sat there for awhile and stared at the water. I thought maybe I had giving her the wrong answer. Or maybe my answer had just surprised her. We sat quietly for what seemed like forever. She then looked at me, smiled and started asking questions again.

“Now can you tell me the difference between a man and …. Let’s say an alligator?”

This question made me think a little. The only place I’ve ever seen an alligator was on TV, so I knew nothing about them.

“There is no difference, Grandma. An alligator and a man are the same. They both are living creatures that have adapted to life. Both are capable of being good parents. They both are capable of killing whether it is one of their own or a different creature. They both have a working mind, feelings and a spirit. The only thing different is how they look. But then again everyone looks different.”

“That was a very good answer. Now one more question and then we will be done. What do you believe happens when a person dies?”

“We never truly die. Only our bodies do. We continue living forever. It’s sad when someone leaves the earth but they continue living on either here or in heaven. Just because we can’t see them doesn’t mean they are not with us.”

“Now you see why you are special? You do not see the world like everyone else. You see beyond what is visible to us. Never let anyone tell you that you are wrong. You have been blessed with the gift of sight, never let that go.”

After that day I started to notice more around me. Grandma had been right. It wasn’t until I was older that I really saw just how right she was. I even figured out how Pele fit into all this. I was and am known for my fiery personality. I don’t have a bad temper or anything; I’m just feisty like Pele.

Well my eighth and ninth birthdays came and went. Nothing special really happened. It was just me and Grandma enjoying life. I was enjoying going to school also. I was actually really good at it. My teachers all praised me on my hard work and even told Grams I might be able to skip a few grades. I tested when I was nine and told that next year I would be going to the middle school in sixth grade. Getting to skip fourth and fifth grade was awesome. School started and my first day in sixth grade went great. I knew most of the kids so I didn’t have to worry about getting picked on. Everything was going great until my tenth birthday.

The day of my tenth birthday was just like any other day. We didn't do anything different, just the same, which I liked. It was two days after my tenth birthday that I wish I could forget. It was a Friday morning and I was up early watching cartoons. We had been giving the day off as a free day from school. Grandma was in the kitchen making breakfast, just a typical Friday morning at our house. Around noon there was a loud knock at the front door. Grams went to open the door and two men burst into the house. I recognized them both immediately; they were the same two men that had helped my mother try to kill me. One of them grabbed my grandma and the other grabbed me. They took us into the dining room and tied us to some chairs.

“This is a message from your mother. You may have survived the first attack but you won’t survive this one. First you will suffer by watching your loving grandma die. Then your death will be slow and painful. You will be begging for me to end it, but I’m not going to give you that pleasure. I’m going to enjoy this just like I did the last time.”

They moved Grandma into the middle of the dining room and pulled out a knife. They then moved me and put me facing her. I started to cry but she told me not to.

“Baby girl, do not cry for me. Do not let them see that you are sad. This will only add to their pleasure. Show them no pain, no fear, give them nothing. I will always be with you. Remember just because my body will be gone, I will always be with you. Aloha Au Ia 'O, Lily.”

I did as my Grandma told me. Even as they started cutting into her neck, I showed no emotions. The whole time they were focused on Gram, I was working my way out of the rope. I had just got the rope undone when Grandma mouthed the words I Love You, and then closed her eyes and she was gone. I took the chance and ran out of the house while they were busy with her. I could hear them behind me yelling. They didn’t chase me for long. I ran as long and as far as I could. I found a nice dark place and hid, I don’t know how long I was there, but I know I was too afraid to move.

I remember sitting there crying, wishing it was all a dream, when a man approached me. I tried to run but there was no place for me to go.

“Hey it’s okay, Lily, I’m a friend of your grandmothers. She asked me to take care of you if anything happened to her. My name is Mark Taylor; you know the police are looking for you. They want to make sure you’re okay. Can you come with me so we can show the police that you are okay?”

“How do I know you’re telling the truth? You can be helping those men that killed her.”

“Well, I can tell you what I know about her. Her name was Kanani Iaukea and she was born here in Wailea. Her family owns the island Kahoolawe, which has been in your family for generations. I’ve even been there. You have a house big enough to act as a hotel; you created a little pond in the backyard so you could take care of injured animals. There is even a tree on the island that has your name carved on it.”

I knew he was telling me the truth. The only way he knew about the tree was if he saw it. I never told Grandma I did it, I was afraid she’d get mad. Plus no one is allowed on the island without permission. I let Mark take me to the police station and I told them what had happened. I gave them the description of the two men, even though I knew they would never find them. I knew I would be seeing them again. My mother was not going to give up until I was where she wanted me. Mark promised he would take care of me. He would make sure nothing happened to me. I trusted him because I wanted to. I needed to believe I would be okay, that she was never going to get me.

They put me into foster care after that. Mark made sure it was somewhere I would be taking care of. It was with a family in Hawaii that worked with him. From that day on I started training. I learned how to defend myself, how to pretend to be someone else, and then how to use weapons. I trained for six months before I finally got to do some field work.


	4. Mexico

The beginning of my new job was real easy. I was taking to Mexico and told to make friends with a certain group of kids. Making friends has always been easy for me. At least it was when it came to boys, for some reason most girls didn’t like me. So I made some friends within the group and got them to trust me. I told them both of my parents were dead and I ran away from my foster home. I made sure they thought I didn’t have any family to worry about me. I needed them to think I was a good target to use for transporting drugs across the border. It’s a tricky job that could very well kill me if I’m not careful. The drug cartel here has the children swallow small packages of cocaine and then ships them to the United States. If the children aren’t careful the packages can break. Then you either die from the drugs or from them cutting you open to get them. Not the easiest job but I was ready for it.

It took a few weeks but I was finally able to get in. I went to live with them for about a month before I got to see their boss. He looked over all the new kids to see which ones he wanted to use. I got picked as one of the lucky ones. The kids he picked were blind folded and placed in the back of a truck. We went about one hundred and fifty miles before we stopped. That was part of my training trying to remember where I was going even if I couldn’t see. I was always told that every little detail is important.

When we finally got to our destination, they moved all of us into a little room, and made us sit there for what seemed like hours. Then they started taking us away one by one. I was the fifth child taken out. There were eleven of us all together. We were taking to a lady who said her name was Caroline. She told us we were going to get a little bit of food and water to help us swallow the package. We would then be giving to another group who would take us to the airport. We weren’t allowed to talk to anyone, we were to keep our heads down and stay out of the way. Once we got to our last stop the drugs would be taken and we would be set free.

I did everything I was told to do. The hardest part was trying to swallow the package. The only food was a piece of apple and a cup of water. Not a lot of help getting everything down. After I had the package down they sat me in another room with the first kids they took. Once they had all of us in the room, they told us it was time to leave. We were placed back in the truck with our blindfolds on. We headed to the airport in complete silence. When we got to the airport, they made us get off the truck one by one and put us on the plane. Our seat belts were put on us and we were told not to move or talk. We couldn’t even go to the bathroom until we got to our destination. I didn’t know where we were going. I know it took a couple of hours to get there. By the time we arrived, I was starting to get sick. I had a bad feeling something was wrong.

They took us to a warehouse and had all of us line up against the wall. One by one they took the kids into a different room. Some of the kids came out of the room and some didn’t. I was the next to last one to go into the room. When I got in there the lady name Caroline was there. She asked me how I felt and I told her about my stomach hurting. The look on her face made me think twice. Maybe I should have kept my mouth shut and said nothing. I was starting to figure out why the other kids didn’t come back out. Two guys came into the room (I know for some reason it’s always two guys) and picked me up. They took me into another room, where I saw some of the kids lying on the ground with their stomachs cut open. I could feel the tears starting to run down my checks. I kept telling myself everything was going to be okay, that any minute someone would come through the door to save me. They had me down on the ground by the time the door dusted open. My rescue party got there just in time; I was starting to get that déjà vu feeling. Can’t understand why I would feel that way. We were able to save four of the kids and worked on finding their families or a new family. I was rushed to the hospital and into surgery to remove the package. A few more hours and the drugs would have killed me. That was the first and only time I did any kind of mission like that. I’ve been through a lot but this is the one I hated the most.

The doctors kept me in the hospital for a while after they fixed me up. So much of the drugs had leaked into my system and I was starting to go through withdraw. Not the easiest thing for a ten year old to go through. Especially when I didn’t really understand what was going on. All I knew was that I was very sick and each day it got harder. While I was laying there I could feel my body trying to fight. I can’t see why people would do this to themselves. I kept asking for something to ease the pain but the doctors wouldn’t let me have any. They didn’t want me to get hooked on something else. I had to go through withdraw the hard way. It was more painful than when the bag burst in my stomach. Mark came and sat with me so I wouldn’t have to go through it alone. Mark promised me I wouldn’t have to do anything like that again. No more dealing with drugs or the people who deal them. Those jobs would be reserved for someone else. Not a child but an adult that could fit in with the dealers. After a few weeks of intense pain and suffering I was finally able to go home.

After I left the hospital, I was sent back to Hawaii and placed into foster care, this time with a different family. They were, of course, a part of the company. So any time I had to go train I could just leave. We ended up moving to Louisiana not long after I returned. Louisiana is so much different from Hawaii. I wasn’t sure I was going to like it but I found a reason to want to stay.


	5. Louisiana

I wasn’t too crazy about moving to Jonesboro, Louisiana. No longer living by the beach and there was way too many people. The house we lived in was a nice place. We had a big backyard I could run and play in. But no beach, no water, which equals no fun. Of course we had to move to the part of Louisiana that had no beach. I know I’m complaining but I’ve always loved the water. Any hoo… everything was going good. I celebrated my eleventh birthday. School was going well also. I had started sixth grade in Hawaii and when I got here they placed me in seventh. The folks here felt I was too smart for sixth grade. I had some problems with the kids here but I knew I would. I didn’t know any of them and they didn’t know me. I spent my days going to school, heading home to do homework, and then either training or lying around doing nothing. My foster parents started worrying about me. They didn’t like that I did training instead of making friends. I tried to make friends but it wasn’t working. None of the girls liked me and too many of the boys did. I did finally make a friend around Thanksgiving. His name was Brandon and he was two years older than me. He was the first one to talk to me and ask me about where I was from. Of course I didn’t tell him everything, I was afraid he wouldn’t talk to me anymore.

“Hi there, I’m Brandon, we have history class together”

“Hi. Yeah I’ve seen you before. My name is Lily.”

“So you’re new here, huh? Where did you live before here?”

“We just moved here from Hawaii. My dad had to move for work.”

“That’s cool. I’ve always wanted to go to Hawaii. I’ve seen pictures of people surfing and I would love to learn how.”

“Really! I learned when I was eight. I’m really missing the beach and the water. I wish we didn’t have to move here.”

“It’s not all that bad. I’m glad you moved here. I don’t know too many girls that like the same things I like. Most of the girls around here are more interested in making sure they look good and impressing the boys.”

“That’s not me at all. I don’t have to pretend to be someone I’m not. I really don’t feel like I have to impress anyone. If someone doesn’t like me then who cares, I really don’t.”

“See that’s what I like, someone who doesn’t pretend to be something they’re not. So are you doing anything this weekend?”

“I don’t think I’m doing anything, why?”

“My parents are having a cook-out this weekend and I was wondering if you and your parents would like to come over.”

“I would like that. I’ll ask my parents and let you know tomorrow.”

“Cool, I’ll see you tomorrow then, bye Lily.”

I spent the rest of the day in a daze. I couldn’t believe it, here was this cute boy asking me to come over to his house. I know my parent would let me go, they kept telling me I needed to make friends. Later that day I heard this girl asking Brandon about the cookout. He told her it was just a family event. Right after he said that he looked at me and winked. All day I tried to figure out why he invited me and no one else. I started to think it was a trick that he and his friends were setting all this up. When I got to his house, it wouldn’t be his. By the end of the day I was ready to tell him I wasn’t going to be able to go to his cookout. But I decided to give him a chance. I asked my parents that night and they said that it was a great idea. So the next day I let Brandon know I could make it.

I worried all week about the cookout. Everything that could go wrong went through my head. I just knew something was going to go wrong. The day of the cookout I actually wanted to fake being sick. My mom told me it was time to get ready. Several times I started to tell them I didn’t feel good. Eventually it was time to go and I had no choice but to go. So we get there and I waited for someone else to open the door. Brandon was at the door waiting for us. I felt better once I met his family and realized he was a pretty nice guy.

“Hey Lily, I’m glad you showed up. I was beginning to think you weren’t going to make it”

“I have to confess I almost didn’t. All week I tried to figure out why you invited me but no one else. I thought maybe it was a joke.”

“I’m sorry I should have told you. I wasn’t really supposed to invite anyone over. It was supposed to be a family event.”

“So why did you invite me then?”

“Well, one I wanted to make you feel welcomed and two I think you’re cute and wanted to get to know you.”

That was the first time I’d had some real fun since my grandma died. Our family’s got along really well. I loved playing with his six month old sister, Brittany and five year old brother, Braydon. We started spending more time with each other. I would hang out with his friends who thought it was cool having a girl who likes the same things. The girls, of course, hated me so much. Several girls tried to ask out his friends. None of them got the chance because every girl was compared to me. The guys wanted a girl who liked to have fun plus could be a girl too. Most of the girls were more interested in how they looked and not into having fun. I ended up playing different sports, hanging out at the park, and getting into trouble. Not serious trouble, just like coming home filthy, or staying out past curfew. Brandon and I ended up becoming boyfriend and girlfriend. He was my first real boyfriend. I wish I could say that it was a great time but like everything else in my life, nothing good ever last.

One weekend Mark had me head down to New Orleans for some training. I left Friday after school and came back Sunday afternoon. The training was easy, basically going over what I already knew. I did convince them to let me start on weapons training. Once I got to start on that my weekend was going great. I was having a lot of fun. If I knew what I was going to go home to I would have stayed at training camp.

I got home and found my parents weren’t there. So I decided to head down to Brandon’s to see what he did all weekend. When I got close to his place I saw all the cars blocking the road. Most of the cars were police cars and a few ambulances. I was wondering what was going on, I figured one of the neighbors had finally gone crazy. As I got closer I realized they weren’t at a neighbor’s house, they were at Brandon’s. I started running towards his house when I saw my parents standing there. I ran to my mom and asked her what was going on.

“Mom, what’s going on? What happened? Is Brandon okay?”

“Sweetie, I’m sorry. They think it was a robbery gone wrong. They’re all gone, none of them made it.”

I didn’t want to believe her. I wanted to wake up from this nightmare. Then they started bringing the family out. The first three I knew were Brandon and his parents. Then they brought out Braydon and then little Brittany. I couldn’t believe it, my mom was right they were all gone. This one didn’t feel the same as when Grandma died. I didn’t think it was going to be okay because they weren’t really gone. This felt like the end, nothing but an empty hole. I ran back home and hid in my room, crying. Wishing everything would go back to the way it was. I heard my parents come home some time later. I could hear them in the living room talking and my mom crying.

“Tony, what are we going to do? Do we tell her what they found?”

“We don’t say a word. Not yet anyway. Besides we don’t know if the message was for her.”

“Are you kidding me? Of course it’s for her. Who else would it be for?”

“Tabitha, we just need to stop and think about this. If we tell her what they found, image what that would do to her. I think we should just……”

“Mom, Dad, what did you find? Please tell me.”

“Oh sweetheart, I’m sorry you had to find out. Your dad and I just want to do the best thing for you, but since you know, we’ll let you read it.”

My mom handed me a piece of paper, on it was a short message written in Spanish. It said, ‘Usted hizo esto, usted les mató. Cada uno que usted ama morirá.’ You did this, you killed them. Everyone you love will die. I knew as soon as I read those words it was from my mother. I knew she had something to do with this. I doubt she did it herself, she probably sent the same two guys. That night all I could think about was Brandon. I kept remembering everything we did, all the things we talked about. There was one time I remember very well. We sat in the park one day and talked about our future together.

”I can’t believe it’s been four months since I moved here. I feel like I’ve been here my whole life. I hope I get to stay here forever!”

“Same here, I like having you around. I think I might keep you around forever. That is if you don’t mind.”

“Brandon, now why would I ever want to leave you? I like being here with you and would love to spend forever with you.”

“Then it’s settled Lily. Forever is what we want and forever is what we’ll get.”

“So we are going to date all through high school, get married, have kids, and live out our golden years together?”

“Yep so what’s wrong with that?”

“Nothing, it all sounds great except for one thing.”

“And what might that be Lil?”

“Oh just this wee little problem that I have, you know the one that involves me not being able to have kids.”

“That? That’s nothing. There are so many ways a couple can have kids. By the time we get there who knows how many more. It’s just one little bump in our road. I’m sure there will be more; we just have to take it one day at a time.”

“I hope you’re right. I don’t want any big bumps, Brandon.”

I didn’t sleep at all that night. I kept thinking about the times like that one. I guess our forever wasn’t as long as we had thought or hoped. I wasn’t sure what to do next. I just lost someone I truly loved. Was this something I would be going through my whole life? Would everyone I tried to love suffer the same fate? Would I be forced to live my life alone? My parents let me skip school that week to give me some time to think about what I wanted to do. I was starting to fear for my parent’s lives. I loved them like they were my real parents. Would my mother get rid of them just to get back at me? I was so scared; I just didn’t know what to do. I called Mark up and told him to find me a different home; I wanted a place where I didn’t really want to be. I wanted to live with someone I could live with but not get close to. Someone I wouldn’t end up loving. So Mark went to work finding me a new home. He was looking at fosters at first but decided to find me a permanent home. Someplace where I could still take off it I needed to but with someone that doesn’t know about the company. Finding someone like that through adoption agencies isn’t easy. Most of them are looking to love their child, I need one that isn’t. It took Mark five months before he finally found me a home.


	6. Adoption

I finally had to say good-bye to Tony and Tabitha. The only parents I’ve ever had. I knew it was the right thing to do for their safety, but it was the hardest thing to do. I was being adopted by a single woman who had a good career going. What that means for me is the ability to sneak away without her knowing. I wasn’t going to be going to school anymore. Mark found me a private tutor that would get me through school faster. I figured I could be done by the time I was sixteen. I turned twelve a month before I was adopted.

My new mom’s name is Dixie Carter. She could be a really fun person at times. When she wasn’t working and just sat at home relaxing, she was a blast to be around. She lived in Orlando, Florida, so I got to move for the third time to my fourth home. I had a lot of fun in Orlando, there was so much to do, plus there was water. Dixie took me to the beach once a month. She fit it in around her already busy schedule. I don’t think she took time off before she got me. She really enjoyed her time with me, I know I was. She worked during the week so Mark had me doing work then, as well as school work. It wasn’t the easiest thing to do but I seemed to have managed. I even got to go to work with Dixie. She’s the president of the wrestling organization called TNA. It stands for Total Nonstop Action. Can’t say they are my favorite but I put up with them. The people there weren’t always the nicest. Some would talk to me but most would ignore me. Which was fine with me, I didn’t want to talk to any of them either.

When I wasn’t spending time with Dixie, I was training. I had become their number one long range sniper. Not really a good thing to boost about at the age of twelve. One week I got a job down in Mexico. It didn’t take me long to finish it. I didn’t feel any different afterwards either. Mark was afraid I might freak out or feel bad about it but I didn’t feel either of those. After that Mark started to worry about me. He was worried that I would get too use to the job, that I would go numb and have no feelings for my actions. I didn’t really think about it. Just went, set up, fired and left. No second thoughts just went out and did my job. That could be why Mark got so worried about me. He still let me do my job but he watched over me very closely.

The first year I spent with Dixie was a lot of fun. Besides spending time at the beach, we would go to different amusement parks. This was the first time I had been to a park. I think I rode every single ride there was. I even rode the ones that I knew would freak me out. Dixie even got on a lot of the rides with me. I even got to go to the zoo for the first time. I know it sounds weird, but I never really wanted to go before. I always had things to do and never wanted to see the animals in a cage. I was one of those people who felt animals should be free, not locked up. Then Dixie gave me something to think about.

“I know you hate zoos, Lil, but just give it a try. Don’t think of it as a prison; look at it as a way to teach everyone. Just think if there were no zoos many of these animals would be gone.”

“Isn’t there another way to save them besides locking them up? Don’t we have programs to help with breeding?”

“We do but not enough to help every animal on the planet. Just think of all the kids like you who visit the zoos. They feel the same way you do, and when they get the chance to help, they will. The more that sees these animals, the more people that will be willing to help.”

“I never really looked at it that way. I suppose zoos are needed to protect the animals and to teach us to respect them.”

“See, if you look at something in different ways you may find yourself willing to try new things.”

We went to the zoo many times after that. She was right, I did learn so much about the animals. After that I started finding ways I could help. It’s been the one thing I’ve continued to do and will continuing doing.

Another fun time we had was a trip to Walt Disney World. I’d never been to anything like that before. Dixie took a week off so we would have time to visit every inch of the park. Our hotel room was ten times bigger than my room at home. It felt like it was but it probably wasn’t. We had everything we could possibly need to last us a few weeks. There was so much entertainment to keep us busy. And this was just in the hotel room; we hadn’t left for the park yet. I couldn’t wait until I got to see the different areas in this huge playground. It took us almost an hour to plan our trip. I never realized how big this place was until we tried to map out our route. That was easier said than done for us. There was way too much to do there. I didn’t think we would get it all done in a week. We decided to start at Magic Kingdom and see what kind of rides we could get on. One ride I knew I had to ride was Splash Mountain. Trying to get Dixie on it was going to be the hard part but she did promise to ride any and all rides with me. Not the best promise to give to a kid who’s about to have the time of her life. Our next stop was Epcot Center. From the pictures I saw, this looked like the best place for some hands on fun. And getting to pretend to be someone else and not a care in the world was a welcomed thought. Next we were going to go to the Animal Kingdom, my kind of place. We ended our week with a trip to Hollywood Studios, Cirque Du Soleil, and Downtown Disney.

After our week of fun, I didn’t want to do anything. We didn’t get to see everything but we sure did try. There was just too much there to get everything in. We ended up cutting out the Hollywood Studios trip and the Cirque Du Soleil trip. We spent so much time on all the rides we didn’t even get in that much shopping, which was okay with me. I did get some souvenirs but the experience was much better. I know Dixie had fun as well. Not once did she talk about work during the week. As soon as we got home she did need to get back to it, but that was okay with me. I know she took time off just to give me the chance to be a kid so I was okay with her going back to work right after we got back. Getting to be a kid was the best thing anyone’s giving me in a long time and was looking forward to getting more chances like this one.


	7. South Africa

When I turned thirteen, everything at home changed. I know I said I wanted a home where I didn’t fall in love with it. But I was enjoying having a childhood. Getting to do kid things and having fun. It seemed like after the first year Dixie got tired of me. We stopped going places, stopped hanging out. She started spending more and more time at work. I spent many nights alone. I’ve never been scared of anything, at least not since my Grandma, but on those nights alone every little sound made me jump. I wasn’t getting a lot of sleep which meant less work. I didn’t want to fall asleep in the middle of an assignment. I remember one night I thought I heard a noise in the living room. I was too tired to check. I always check every single noise and the one time I don’t I ended up paying for it. The noise seemed to move through the house until it stopped right outside my bedroom. I tried to hide under my blankets hoping whatever was at my door would just disappear. My bedroom door opened and I half expected Dixie to walk in to see if I was asleep. Instead I felt a hand grab me and it held me down. It was over before I really understood what was happening. I stayed in my bed until Dixie got home the next morning. I tried to tell her what had happened but she told me she was too busy to deal with me. She left the house two hours later to go back to work. After she left I called Mark and told him what happened. He sent someone over to get me and take me to the doctors. He asked if I wanted to switch homes, to find new parents. I told him no because Dixie was who I was looking for, someone who didn’t care but gave me what I needed. From then on I knew I had to take care of myself.

In June 2003 I had tricked Dixie into signing a consent form to let me go to South Africa. It was with a volunteer group to help out with rebuilding and other stuff. Don’t remember exactly what we were supposed to be doing. It was a long flight over but it was worth it. I learned a lot while I was there. I did do some work but I found it hard to concentrate. His name was Justin and he was twenty-three, ten years older than me. I didn’t really care because he was cute. I shouldn’t say was cute because he still is. Anyways other than working and following Justin, my time in South Africa isn’t the one thing I remember from that trip. It was the trip back home that everyone likes to hear about.

I had spent a month in South Africa and it was time for me to go home. I was actually ready to go home. I knew I was going to miss this place and all the people I’d met. I even made sure me and Justin would stay in touch. When the plane arrived, I was the first one on. I took a seat in the very back, put on my headphones, and went to sleep. I’m not sure how long we had been flying but a loud popping sound woke me up. I looked around but couldn’t find where the sound came from. A couple minutes later I heard an even louder sound. This sound came on my left side, so I opened the shade on my window and looked out. I quickly closed it and started praying. The plane started shaking violently and you could feel the plane start to go down. You could hear everyone start to scream and panic. You knew what was going to happen. I’m not going to say I wasn’t scared because in a situation like this you have to feel something. The plane started shaking more and you could hear the plane start to come apart. The plane we were on wasn’t that big and looked like it should have been retired long ago. Not sure why I got on. The plane started coming apart right in front of me. The section I was in came apart and the front half of the plane fell straight down. My seat gets sucked out of the plane and when I looked I was staring up at the sky. I lay down and curled up on my seat and started asking for help. I ended up praying to any and every god I could think of. I even prayed to Hyades not to take me. I was desperate, I asked everyone. I closed my eyes and passed out.

I woke up sometime later looking up into the sky. I tried to move but my entire body hurt. I laid there for a while trying to wait out the pain. My head was the one thing that hurt the most. I knew it was going to be bad if I didn’t get out of there. After a while I made myself get up and look for the others. I found two people wandering around yelling and screaming. I gather them together and tried to calm them down. It was getting dark so I watched the stars and tried to figure out where we were. I’m glad I learned how to track my position by the stars. I knew from learning about Africa that there was a tribe not far inland. I told them we would set out at first light, we had to get help. At first light we set out trying to find the tribe. We headed in and walked for what seemed like forever. I was trying to watch where we were going and tried to keep going in the same direction. As we were walking I heard a soft low growl. I started thinking of all the animals it could possibly be. As the growl grew louder I was trying to look for a way out. I finally caught a glimpse of the animal and started to laugh. I know that sounds kinda weird but it was just funny. I got closer and saw the lion. Now I know there couldn’t be a lion in the jungle but the fact that he was blue made me know I was seeing things. I just shook my head and kept walking. I’m not sure if the others had seen it; they kept crying and saying how we were all going to die. I ignored them and kept going looking for water. I didn’t really want to drink any water from a river or lake but I knew we needed something. We finally came to a lake that looked like it might be okay to drink a little. I bent down to get some water to splash on my face when I saw some bubbles coming up. I stayed where I was waiting to see what was going to come up. There are so many animals in the jungle that could easily kill us in a heartbeat. We waited a couple more seconds and then we saw a hippo hit the surface. Now I’m not sure if the hippo was real or not. I didn’t know that much about hippos so I’m not sure if hippos are kind of a purplish color or not. Either way I wasn’t going to stick around and find out. We kept going until it started to get dark. We found a place to sit and started a small fire. We all ended up sitting away from each other. The woman kept saying this was the end and the guy was saying we were all going to die. I just tried my best to stay awake and alert. If I would have gone to sleep I wouldn’t have woken up.

While I was sitting there I heard a loud hiss and jumped about a mile in the air. I grabbed the closest thing I could find, a big tree branch. The snake coiled itself up and stood up to look at me. I wasn’t sure what kind of snake it was because the fire wasn’t bright enough for me to see. The first thing that came to mind was a cobra. I know that wasn’t it but it was the first snake I thought of. Anyways I waited for the snake to do something but it just sat there. Then all of a sudden the fire flared up high and I swear that snake was smiling at me. I’m not sure if it did but I backed up trying to get away. The snake uncoiled itself and slithered away as if nothing had happened. I looked around to see if the others were watching me. They were still in their own little worlds. I sat back down, held on to my big stick and waited for daybreak. As soon as I could see I told everyone it was time to move out. We hadn’t walked very far before they started with the whole doomed thing. I was beginning to wish the lion was real so I could let him eat them. I know that doesn’t sound very nice but I was getting tired of listening to them. Not much longer after that I ran into what would become my biggest headache. So far all the animals I had seen weren’t really there. At least the lion wasn’t, don’t know about the hippo and I’m not even going to wonder about the snake. I heard something bouncing through the trees, looked up and saw this yellow monkey staring at me. For some reason all my hallucinations were different colors. We kept walking and this monkey kept following us. It didn’t bother me that much; he just jumped from branch to branch. We walked for a few hours before I stopped to check where we were. Not that I really knew how to check during the day. I didn’t want to freak the others out so I told them we weren’t far. This is where the monkey started getting on my nerves. I began walking again when I heard someone say I was going the wrong way. I looked back at the others but knew it wasn’t them. They didn’t even look like they were all there. I started again and heard the same thing. I then looked at the monkey; he looked at me and said ‘You’re going the wrong way.’ I ignored him for a while as we kept going in the same direction we’d been going. And the whole time that monkey followed us telling us we were going the wrong way. I finally turned around and said ‘Okay you damn monkey, which way am I suppose to go!’ He just smiled and pointed another way. I figured I’d go his way hoping he would stop following me. It worked too, and of course he was right. About five minutes later we found the village, if I had kept going the same way we would have went right by it. I told them what had happened and asked for their help. At this point I don’t remember their answer because I passed out and didn’t wake up for some time.

When I finally woke up I was in the hospital. A doctor came in and told me I was going to be okay. He started telling me everything that was wrong with me but I didn’t really listen to him. I asked where my mom was and he said she stopped by yesterday and said she’d be back in a couple of days. Nice to know there are more important things than me. I don’t think she’d care if I died right now. Her work was more important. Mark did come and see me though. Apparently the whole company was worried about me when they heard the plane went missing. Nice to know at least someone cares about me. I spent a few more weeks in the hospital and Dixie came to see me a whole three days. When she did show up all she talked about was her work. I was so happy when I finally got to go home. I could hide from her and not have to hear her talk. I had a lot of messages from Justin trying to find out what was wrong. Dixie told him I was in the hospital but didn’t tell him why. I called him back and told him the whole story. By the time I was done we were both laughing. It was a funny story even though it shouldn’t have been. It was nice having someone to talk to and actually listen to what I had to say. Mark gave me a few months to heal before he let me go back to work. My next assignment took a lot out of me and changed my life.


	8. The End

After I was finally healed, I set out on my new assignment. This time I wanted to try something new instead of always using my rifle. I’ve had many jobs that I can’t talk about and was starting to get bored. This time I was going to experiment with explosives. It took me two weeks before I was completely sure of what I was doing. I wanted to watch over my target to make sure I didn’t make any mistakes. I watched every move him and his family made. Finally I decided the time was right. I waited until night fall and headed down towards their house. The bomb was going to be placed in the car. As soon as he started the car in the morning, BOOM. After I wired the bomb to the car, I found my spot on top of a small mountain. I stayed there all night frozen waiting for morning. I was so excited when the sun came up and I knew it was time. Right on cue, he walked out of his house, just like every morning for the past two weeks. But unlike the last two weeks, this morning wouldn’t turn out the way I had pictured it. This morning he wasn’t alone, his two children were following him. His son, age ten, and his daughter, age six, were running and smiling as they followed their father to the car. I started praying they weren’t going to get into the car with him. There was no way I could stop them, I was too far to yell. Their mother stood in the front door waving at them. I wanted to close my eyes, not wanting to see what was about to happen. All of them got into the car and then came the explosion. Their mother started screaming and running towards the car but it was too late. There was no way anyone survived the blast. I left right after that feeling numb and sick to my stomach. All the way home one thought ran through my head, I was a child killer. I killed two innocent children because I got bored with my usual routine. Instead of heading home I made my way to Hawaii. I wanted to spend my last days with family, on our island.

I couldn’t stand the fact that my recklessness killed two innocent children. I had decided that I didn’t deserve to live. I spent a week on the island trying to decide how exactly I was going to do it. I came up with so many different ideas but couldn’t bring myself to do any of them. One day I was standing in the ocean trying to figure out what I was going to do, when something hit my legs. I started to freak out but stopped myself. I didn’t know what it was so I didn’t want to startle it. I tried to look around but whatever it was kept hitting my legs and then running. I slowly made my way back to the beach and looked out trying to find my attacker. After a few seconds I finally found who I was looking for and started laughing. Coming towards me were two young dolphins. I wasn’t sure what they wanted so I went in as far as I could and sat down. They started playing around and trying to get me to follow them. I finally got up and joined them. That was the most fun I’d had in a while. It was so incredible getting to play with wild dolphins. They were complete opposites of each other. One, which I named James, was the wild one who loved jumping, going as fast as he could. The other, named Jesse was quiet and a little more reserved. I named them after one of my favorite outlaws Jesse James. I spent the whole day playing with them. When I said it was time for me to go, they started swimming in circles around me. I tried to get past but they wouldn’t let me go. I wondered why they were keeping me there. After a while I told them I would see them tomorrow. They then let me go and swam away. As I was lying there trying to go to sleep I realized why they wouldn’t let me go. I had been in the water thinking of a way to kill myself. Maybe they were telling me I didn’t need to do that, that I needed to rethink my decision. The next morning I went out to find Jesse and James waiting for me. I told them I had changed my mind about dying. I wanted to see what my life had in store for me. I spent another month in Hawaii before heading back to Miami.

When I finally got back home I really started to think about what I was going to do with my life. I went to a local café to think it over. I sat there for over an hour when this old man sat down at my table.

“You look like you could use someone to talk to?”

I had no idea who this guy was or what he wanted. I just sat there and let him talk.

“My name is John Sarrcone. I know what you’re thinking; this crazy old guy is talking to me, why. You don’t have to talk; I’ll do all the talking. It’s just nice to have someone to talk to. When you get to my age most people stop listening to you. They feel you don’t have anything interesting to say.”

“Don’t you have any kids or grandkids to talk to?”

“Ah, she can talk. I was beginning to wonder. To answer your question, no I don’t have either. I lost my wife five years ago and have been on my own ever since.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. I lost my grandma four years ago and I’ve kinda been on my own too.”

“What about your parents? Any brothers or sisters?”

“I’m an only child. I’ve never met my father; my mother doesn’t know who he is. As for my mother she doesn’t care about me. She hasn’t since I was seven when she first tried to kill me. After that my grandma took care of me until my mother had her killed.”

“Sounds like a rough start. I’m sure it’ll get better for you.”

“Yeah, I got adopted by the wicked witch of the east. I spent weeks in the hospital and she was too busy with work to visit. So yeah my life is just a bowl full of cherries.”

“Maybe so but you’re still here aren’t you? That either means you’re really lucky or one tough cookie. Someone is looking out for you so I can only imagine what He has in store for you.”

“I don’t know it seems like someone is having fun messing with my life.”

We ended up talking for a long time. I learned a lot about John’s life. He was an archeologist who had traveled to so many places. He’d been to places I’ve never heard of. He was seventy-four, no kids, and was getting ready to retire. We had spent so much time in the café people were starting to stare at us. So John invited me to his house to continue talking. I wasn’t sure at first but I knew I could handle myself against this old man. So I went with him and I’m glad I did. John had an amazing collection of artifacts. I felt like I was in a museum except here I got to touch the exhibits, it was so awesome. I ended up spending the weekend with John and learned so much. It was better than being in school. I couldn’t believe some of the artifacts I got to play with. Every day I got to pretend I was from a different country, in a different time.


	9. Family

I spent so much time with John; I started to call him grandpa. He didn’t mind since he was starting to treat me like his granddaughter. I started spending a lot of time with him. I truly felt like he was family so I asked Mark if we could do a background check to clear him and then tell him. I had to wait two weeks before I was giving the all clear. John and I went to Washington D.C. to see Mark. Mark let John read my file, which after four years was huge, and told him everything I’d gone through. I was waiting for John to walk out and tell me to stay away from him, but he did neither. He wrapped his arms around me and told me things would be much better from then on. He asked Mark if I could live with him so I’d be safe. Of course Mark said yes, he’s been trying to get me away from Dixie for awhile. So it was settled grandpa was my new guardian. After meeting with Mark, grandpa and I went to the museum. Grandpa told me stories about every piece in the museum. We walked around for five minutes alone before we had a group of people following us. Even the tour guide was listening to grandpa. You could tell he was having the time of his life telling us kids about all the history. We spent the whole day walking around, and we learned so much from grandpa. I kept having kids telling me how lucky I was to have a grandpa that knew so much. Plus he made if fun unlike most tours you get. We spent the weekend in D.C. before heading home. When I got home I packed up my stuff and moved into grandpa’s house. I don’t think Dixie even noticed I was gone.

The next couple of months were actually fun for me. No more nights alone, no more worrying about if I was going to have food. Living with grandpa was the best thing that could have happened to me. I loved having someone to talk to. It did bother me that I was putting his life in danger but he didn’t care. All he cared about was allowing me to have a fun and happy time. I didn’t think my life could get any better. But of course like always I was wrong, and this time I was glad. I found out that not only did grandpa like ancient stuff; he was also a huge wrestling fan. Thankfully he wasn’t into Dixie’s product, he was into WWE. This was awesome because I was too! He found out they were having some of the wrestlers signing autographs at the stadium and took me to see them. We got there three hours early and believe it or not weren’t even close to the front. I couldn’t believe grandpa stood out there for hours just to let me meet some wrestlers. We found out there were going to be three people there. We were getting the chance to see The Miz, John Morrison, and Melina. They’re not my favorite wrestlers but I wasn’t too picky when it came to autographs. When we finally got to the front I was so ready to hurry up and get out of there. I was getting hot and tired; all I wanted to do was go home and crash. Meeting Morrison and Melina was alright but getting to meet the Miz was so cool. We talked for as long as they would let us. He told us where he was going afterwards and told us to meet him there. I couldn’t believe we were going to get to hang out with the Miz. Now I could understand it if I was a lot older but not with my grandpa with me. After we got the autographs we headed home to eat and relax before it was time for us to go. All the way there I kept thinking it was a joke just like I did with Brandon, but then again that turned out pretty good for awhile. When we got there I half expected him not to be there but the Miz was there waiting for us.

“Hey I was starting to think you weren’t going to show up.”

“Sorry Lily took a little longer getting ready. I don’t think she expected you to be here.”

“I said I would; now why would you think I’d lie to you?”

“I’m just trying to figure out why you invited my grandpa and me.”

“It just seemed like a good idea really. You look like you’d be fun to hang out with even if you are young. And your grandpa seems like he’s fun to be around also.”

“Oh he is. I’ve learned so much form him since we met.”

“What? He’s not your grandpa?”

“He is but he isn’t. I meet him earlier this year. We had a lot in common and I decided I wanted him to be family. My family wasn’t the best so I left them and started a new one.”

“Your family can’t be that bad. Plus don’t they miss you?”

“No, they don’t even know I’m gone. I don’t care if they miss me or not.”

I told him all about my family including Dixie. I started from the beginning and made my way up to the top. When I got done you could tell he was not only sad but angry as well. We sat there talking for the longest time. I learned a lot about Mike, learned some really interesting things that I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone.

A month after that I went to spend a month with Mike in Los Angeles. I was going to get to travel with him while he worked. I was so excited I was going to get the chance to meet some of my favorite wrestlers. Plus I got to go hang out in L.A., go to the beach and try the surfing. Mike’s place was awesome; it had just about every play toy you could think of. Game systems, pool tables, darts, he even had a pool on the second floor. If you stand out on his balcony you can see the Hollywood sign. I knew I was going to love it here. Getting to travel and hang out in L.A., I was loving life. Going on the road with Mike was, how should I put it, um…interesting. He talks nonstop, loves to sing along with the radio (by the way he’s not that bad), and loves to make up games to pass the time. It worked too; a four or six hour ride seemed like nothing when we started playing games. Most of the time it was just the two of us which was fine with me, I liked getting to know Mike. During the month there I got to spend time with some really cool guys, including Randy Orton, Triple H and John Cena. Those guys are a lot of fun to hang out with. We got into a lot of trouble but it was worth it. We didn’t do anything really awful, just childish stuff. My month didn’t last long enough for me. I wish I could have stayed but grandpa was taking me to South America on a dig. I traded one fun month for another. I was so excited to go on this trip. Not that I knew what I was going to be doing or where I was going but who cared. I was going to get to spend time with my grandpa.

Mike and I spent so much time together we started calling each other brother and sister. Then right before I was set to leave there was a shooting not far from Mike’s house. One of the cops that came by to talk to me was Jesse Cordoza. He was the coolest guy, well I shouldn’t say was cause he still is. I got to know a lot about him and asked if he wanted to join our little family. I called Mike up and talked to him about it and he agreed. So we invited Jesse into our crazy little family and he accepted. So now it’s me, grandpa, Mike and Jesse. Not bad for a girl who was suppose to die at seven years old. I finally had a family. Only took fifteen years to get it.


	10. Maria

Two days before I was set to leave with Grandpa, Mark called to let me know there was trouble heading my way. He picked up some chatter that my mother was on her way to my place. I’m not sure how she found out where I was staying. It’s not like I have a whole lot of friends or had my name in any papers for something. Mark wanted to send someone to protect me and Grandpa. I told him that wouldn’t be necessary, that I could handle her myself. She’s never been able to hurt me herself so I knew I could talk her out of whatever she was up to. Mark didn’t want me to handle it myself but I didn’t give him the option to do anything else. I’d made up my mind that I would handle my mother.

I waited another day before I spotted her watching me at the park. One day before I was set to leave for South America, my mother decides to come after me. I walked around hoping she would follow me. I didn’t want her to try anything with a bunch of kids around. I didn’t want her to hurt anyone else, including me. The way she was following me, I knew she was trying to come up with a way to get to me. It seemed like she had no idea what she was going to do or how she was going to do it. Maybe she wasn’t there to hurt me, maybe she just wanted to talk to me. Probably not but a girl can wish can’t she. For twenty minutes she followed me around until we came to an empty spot. I stopped and waited for her to catch up to me. When she finally did, she stopped and looked at me waiting for me to make the first move.

“I don’t know what you want mother but you need to forget about it and just go home. If not this isn’t going to end the way you want it to. I’m not going to stand here and let you harm me.”

“You don’t understand Leilani, I have to do something. I can’t let this go on any longer. It’s already been too long; I should have taken care of you myself years ago. I’ve trusted the wrong people hoping I wouldn’t have to do this myself but it looks like I’m going to have too.”

“You’re not going to do anything to me, Mother. If anyone is going to die here today it’s going to be you. I’ve made it through everything you’ve thrown at me and I’ll make it through this as well. So take your best shot and let’s get this over with.”

I waited for her to make her move. She didn’t seem like she was sure if she could really do it. After awhile she pulled out a gun and pointed it at me. She was shaking so bad I was waiting for the gun to go off in every direction. I stood there and told her to take her best shot and to hurry I had things to do. The more I talked to her the more nervous she got. The gun was really moving at this point and I knew if she fired a shot it wasn’t going to hit me. I finally got tired of waiting and yelled at her to shot me. This scared her so much she fired the gun at me and missed. I took out my gun, told her I was sorry and fired. I missed on purpose hoping she would run but she stood there staring at me. I told her to leave and never come back but she refused. She said one of us was going to die today and next time I’d better not miss. She told me to shot her in the head to make it quick. I wasn’t sure if I wanted it to be quick for her. She never made mine quick, I had to suffer many times. I decided to give her what she wanted just to get this over with and to move on with my life. My next shot found her square in the middle of her head. I called Mark and told him what happened and he sent out someone to pick up the body. I was glad it was finally over with, no more wondering what she had planned for me next. Now it was time to spend time with Grandpa and have some fun in South America.


	11. South America

Grandpa wouldn’t tell me where we were going until we got there. We ended up going to Machu Piccu in Peru. The hike up to the mountain was long and tiring. I got a great workout hiking the twenty thousand hours it felt like it took to get there. It didn’t take that long but when you’re climbing up a mountain it seems like forever. By the time we reached the top it was starting to get dark. We had to put up our tents using flashlights. That was one of the hardest things to do. It would have taken me forever during the day too; this was the first time I’d gone camping so I had no idea what I was doing. Grandpa had to help me put my tent up or I would have been sleeping on the ground. The first night I had a hard time getting to sleep. I wasn’t use to hearing all those different sounds. I’m so use to all the cars, yelling and every once in a while gun shots. Here it’s quiet except for the different animal sounds. I tried to figure out what each sound was but didn’t do very good. You could tell I was a city girl, made me feel a little out of place. My job on this trip was to take pictures of anything and everything. I even brought my sketch book with me to do some drawings of the different buildings. So my job was pretty easy and lots of fun. The buildings here are so amazing. Its neat how well preserved they are after all these years. The Incas did a great job at building. We weren’t really there to do any digging just to learn more about the architecture of the buildings and how they constructed them.

After I had finished taking my pictures each day I would call my brothers to see how they were doing and to tell them how beautiful everything was. The first week went great. I took so many pictures and drew so many drawings; I could open up my own art gallery. I got some incredible shots. Grandpa was impressed with my work, even telling me he wished I’d been on some of his earlier travels. My second week went just as well as the first. I even started sleeping at night. I got use to hearing all the different noises. I finished up all my work by the end of the second week so I had two weeks to explore the ruins. I set out to figure out what was making all those noises. I took my camera and sketch book with me to document my findings. Some of Grandpa is rubbing off on me. I was doing very well for someone that had no idea what they were doing.

One night during the third week, I was lying in my tent going over my drawings. Deciding which ones I wanted to give to Grandpa. While I was laying there I felt something crawling on my leg. Instinct tells you to hit whatever it is, which I did. That turned out to be a big mistake. It turned out to be a poisonous spider called a wondering spider. Before I could get it off my leg it bit me. I screamed so loud they could have heard me down the mountain. Everyone came running, yelling, and asking what was wrong. I showed them the spider and the doctor had a worried look on his face. He asked me if it bit me and I said yes and showed him where it was. He looked and got an even more worried look on his face. He told me that when I smashed the spider the fangs broke off into my leg which was bad because the venom was still going into my blood stream.

“I’m not sure how much we can do. We can’t take you down the mountain; you would die before we got down.”

“Not what I want to hear doc. don’t you have any anti venom you can use?”

“Not for this spider. They are very rare and hard to find. We don’t even have any in our hospitals.”

“Then how exactly are you going to treat me?”

“I can give you something for the pain but there’s not much I can do. We’ll have to keep you comfortable and hope for the best.”

“What are my chances? Is this something that is going to kill me?”

“You’re chances are pretty good. Not everyone dies from a bite. Those that do live do end up having complications, but there are a few that don’t. Like I said we’ll just have to wait and see.”

Not exactly what I wanted to hear. I’ve been through so much in my life but this was by far the worst. The pain was so unbearable. The plane crash was a picnic compared to this. I had the doctor tell me everything I could go through. I wanted to make sure I knew exactly what was ahead of me. Not that I liked what I heard. Grandpa had everyone leave the tent so I could get some rest. That first night the fever and pain was so unbearable. I have never felt anything like that before. And that was just the beginning of my nightmare. It seemed like every hour the pain got worse and more intense. There were many times I had wished God would just let me die to ease my pain. Of course that would have been too easy for me. I spent almost two weeks trying to get better. We had to spend more time at Micchu Pichu due to me not able to be moved. When I was finally able to be moved, they put me on a stretcher and carried me down the mountain. By the time they got me to the hospital most of my symptoms were gone. I only had to spend a few days in the hospital before I was finally able to go home to Miami.

When we arrived in Miami, I was completely wiped out. I spent the next couple of weeks in bed doing absolutely nothing. Mike and Jesse called almost every day. They even came down a few times to make sure everything was alright. It’s so nice to have family. Grandpa took very good care of me. I started feeling good enough to actually leave the house. Not that I really felt like doing anything. Most days I spent down at the beach and watched the waves. Being that close to death again makes you take a nice long look at your life. Makes you wonder how you lived through something like that. I was wondering what my life would be like if I wasn’t working. Maybe if I could take some time off and enjoy life.


	12. Saying Goodbye

One day I decided to call Mark and ask him for some time off. When he asked me why, I told him my life was going by without me and I wanted to enjoy some of it. Of course he let me, I knew he would he just wanted to make sure I was taking off for the right reason. I decided to spend my time working on my paintings and drawings. I spent a lot of time at the beach, parks, lakes or where ever I could find a nice quiet spot. I usually came home with around twenty to thirty paintings and drawings. My room was slowly disappearing underneath all my work. We soon found that our house was way too small for both of us and all our stuff. So we decided to find us a bigger house. So in between my drawing outings and going through Grandpa’s stuff, I started looking for a bigger house. After weeks of looking I found our new house. It used to be a bed and breakfast that has been empty for a long time. It needed a lot of work done but it was perfect for me and Grandpa. When I walked in to tell Grandpa the good news I found him lying on the living room floor. I hurried towards him to make sure he was okay and then called 911. The ambulance arrived ten minutes later and the paramedics put him on a stretcher and took him to the hospital.

The doctors told me he didn’t have much longer. His body was shutting down and there wasn’t a whole lot they could do for him. So two weeks after my sixteenth birthday I had to say goodbye to my Grandpa. He told me not to worry, that everything would be okay. I called Mike and Jesse and let them know what was going on. I spent every day with Grandpa. I didn’t want him to spend his time alone. All he wanted to do was talk about his final plans. Me, I wanted to talk about happier times but he’s stubborn. So I let him go through his plans, making sure I got everything written down just the way he wanted it.

“Now Lily, make sure you head to my attorneys as soon as you can. I want all the papers signed so you are well taken care of. I already signed everything over to you so you shouldn’t have any problems. And I want you to sell whatever you want. Don’t try to keep everything, there is way too much. Tell your brothers they are welcome to anything they want. And take care of each other, never let each other go.”

“I got it Grandpa, now rest. You need to save your strength so you can get better. You’ve already been over all the details so I know what needs to be done.”

“We both know I don’t have much time left, so I need to make sure everything is in order. I don’t want you to have to worry about anything after I’m gone. Now I’ve already put in my will I am to be cremated and my remains go to you. You put me where ever you want to. I trust you to put me in a beautiful spot.”

“Grandpa you already know you will go to Hawaii and get to spend time with my Grandma. So no more talk of dying, let’s talk about something else. Tell me one of you stories.”

Grandpa died two days later. Me, Mike and Jesse were there with him at the end. It’s comforting to know he died surrounded by love and not alone. The next day I did as I was told and went to his lawyers’ office. He was supposed to read the will and have me officially sign the papers. I’d already gotten all the other paperwork done; I just had one more to do. But when I got there, he had two people with him waiting for me. It turned out Grandpa wasn’t completely honest with me. The other two people were his son and daughter. They were there to find out what their father had left them. They didn’t even ask how he died or even if he suffered. All they wanted to know was how much money he left them. Nice people huh! So the lawyer started to read the will to us. The first thing Grandpa wanted was for me to have his ashes, which was fine with his children. Next he left me the house and everything in it. Plus everything in his storage unit, not one but six storage units, and I just know they’re going to be full. I am to do whatever I want with them. The last thing was the money, the only thing those people cared about. Grandpa, as I found out, was worth a lot of money. I never knew he was rich. Living with him we had a real simple life. As it turns out Grandpa was worth almost ten million dollars. Now I moved in with him when I was fourteen, we had a small three bedroom house, mostly filled with his art. I never knew he had all that money. Not that I care, he could have been broke, I still would have loved him. Anyways, the lawyer started reading that part of the will. Grandpa had set up a trust fund for me that I could open when I turned twenty-one. As for the rest of the money, all of it went to me as long as I promised to always help my brothers if they needed financial help. The lawyer then told us that was it. Everything he owned had gone to me. His children were furious; he didn’t leave them a thing. He didn’t even mention their names. They stormed out of the office yelling that they were going to sue me for the money. Grandpa’s lawyer said not to worry, Grandpa was afraid this would happen so he paid the lawyers’ fees upfront to represent me. The lawyer then told me he’d do it for free just to make those two mad.

Those two brats actually filled a lawsuit against me. They were trying to get all the money for themselves. Believe me I would give it all up to have Grandpa back. The judge listened to their side first. It was all me, me, me. I want this, I want that, I deserve it all. After what seemed like forever. I finally got my chance to speak. I gave a nice short simple speech.

“Your honor, I won’t waste your time. I’ll keep this brief and to the point. I’ve known Grandpa for two years and never knew he was rich. I didn’t care either. I loved him for who he was not for what he had. I would gladly give up every penny if I could have him back. He means more to me than all the money in the world.”

That was all I needed to say, all that I had to say. It took the judge five minutes to make his decision. The will would stand as is; everything is to go to me. I was happy with the verdict, not that I cared. His kids were not happy at all. But who cared they didn’t love him at all.

After we got back to the office, I called Mike and Jesse and let them know how everything went. They were glad those people didn’t get anything. Our next task was to head to Hawaii to put Grandpa next to Grandma. All three of us got time off to make sure Grandpa got a proper goodbye, one he deserved and one I wanted to give him. Having to say a final goodbye, knowing he was truly gone, was the hardest thing I’ve gone through since I lost Grandma. I know he will forever be with me but it’s still hard.

The ceremony only lasted one day because everyone had to head back to work. We made sure he was sent off properly and with as much love as we could give. Getting to spend time with Mike and Jesse was great. I just wish it was under different circumstances. It had been awhile since all three of us had gotten together. It’s hard with everyone working. While we were there we made plans to fix up the house Grandpa had gotten for me. He finalized a deal while in the hospital, again making sure I got what I wanted, gotta love that man. Mike was going to stay with me for a month and help fix it up when he’s home. Jesse was going to check his leave and see when he could come out. I was thinking about restoring it back into a bed and breakfast but I decided against it. I didn’t want to wait on people and take care of them. Plus leaving for work would make it hard to run a business. So I get to live in a twelve bedroom house by myself. Sounds like so much fun.

When Mike and I got back to Miami, we headed to the realtors office to pick up the keys. They told us they were sorry to hear about out Grandfather. They told us if we needed anything to call. We headed to the house and Mike got to see it for the first time. It really needed a lot of work. Mike took one look and got back in the car. He’s such a funny guy. The inside looks a lot better than the outside but not by much. We really had our work cut out for us.

Mike’s month with me went by so fast. The only thing we got done was the outside. We did get a little help from some of his co-workers Jason (Christian) and John Cena. They both live close by and offered to help out. Even with the extra help it still took a long time. We had to trim back all the trees, resod the entire yard front and back. The fence needed completely replaced. Then the outside of the house needed a huge make-over. With the four of us we got most of the outside done. The yard looked great and the outside of the house was starting to look brand new. The neighbors were even coming over to tell us how good everything looked. I was glad they liked what we were doing, because I wasn’t going to change it.


	13. Big Papi

It took a while but we finally got the outside finished. I was so worn out; I didn’t think I was going to be able to do the inside. We decided to take a break before going back to work. Since the inside was livable it could wait.

I decided to take a break and have a little picnic. I grabbed my sketch book, packed a lunch and headed to a nearby lake. It was a huge lake with houses on two sides. I had never heard of anything bad happening at the lake so I figured everything would be fine. I set up my picnic and sat down to take in the view. I was trying to find the perfect object to draw. I looked around for awhile before I found what I was looking for. Out in the middle of the lake, or at least the part I was at, there was an alligator sitting on the surface. I didn’t even know they had gators in the lake. I just hoped it would stay where it was. I didn’t want to deal with a hungry gator.

For about an hour I drew my picture as I kept an eye on the gator. My picture came out really good. I figured I was safe enough to take my eyes off him. I ate my lunch and lay down to relax. It was such a quiet day. It was the first time I’d truly relaxed in a long time. I probably shouldn’t have relaxed as much as I did. As I was lying there I heard a loud low hiss. I was afraid to open my eyes because I knew exactly what it was. I slowly opened my eyes and looked around me. I was not prepared for what I had seen. There was not one but around six different alligators. I didn’t know what I was supposed to do. One alligator I could handle but there was no way I could handle six. I just sat there not knowing what I was going to do. I figured my number was up until I heard a loud growl behind me. I turned around and saw the biggest gator I have ever seen. By this time I knew my life was over. There was no way I could handle this one. He had to be at least thirteen, fourteen feet long. I closed my eyes and waited for the attack.

Instead of being attacked the monster gator chased the others away. I wasn’t sure what was going on but I wasn’t going to sit there and try to figure it out. I grabbed my stuff and started towards my car. I turned around long enough to say thank you. I got into my car and headed home. As I was driving I started to wonder why that gator had saved my life. Why didn’t he attack me? I wasn’t quite sure what to think. All night I tried to figure out. When I got up in the morning I had figured it out. I think I did, not really sure. I think it has something to do with what my Grandma had said. Something about me being special and understanding the world differently. I have always felt that people and animals were the same. Maybe that is why he saved me.

The following week I’d decided to head back to the lake to see if he was still there. I decided to call him Big Papi, since he was so massive. I stopped at the store and bought different kinds of meat. I figured I would give him a thank you gift. When I reached the lake I sat in the car and looked over the lake to see if Big Papi was around. I didn’t see him anywhere so I got out of the car and headed to the edge. I actually started calling for him, and believe it or not he actually showed up. I kept my distance just in case he changed his mind. I got the meat out of my car and started tossing them to him. He didn’t touch anything except the chicken. The rest of it he left alone. The rest of the afternoon was spent talking to Big Papi. It was nice having someone to talk to and have them listen. Not sure if he was really listening but it helped me out a lot.

Every week I would take some chicken to Papi. I would use that time to get whatever was bothering me off my chest. My brothers all thought I was crazy for trusting an alligator. They kept telling me one of these times he’s going to decide he doesn’t want chicken. I trusted him enough to sit on the ground near him. My brothers just worry way too much. But after what I’d been through who could blame them. Papi and I spent a lot of time together. Whenever I had some spare time I was down by the lake. After some time though I noticed the younger gators were starting to get a little braver. They started showing Papi they weren’t afraid of him, which was beginning to scare me a little. Papi didn’t seem to mind, he ignored them anytime they came near him. If they came near me he would let them know to stay away.

A couple of months after I met Papi I got a phone call saying he was in trouble. While I had time off, I started working at this zoo called the Sanctuary. Every animal in there is rescued. They use the animals to educate people the importance of not keeping wild animals as pets. Someone had called in about a very large alligator in her backyard. Her dog had gotten out of the house and she was afraid the alligator would eat her dog. Kelly, the head zoo keeper, called me up and let me know what was going on. Since I’ve done a few rescues she figured I could help. Plus she knew about Papi and was wondering if he was the one the lady had seen.

When we showed up, animal control was already there. They had already seen the dog and the gator. They were in the back lying next to each other. Animal control had tried to get the dog away but the alligator tried to attack them. After they said that I knew it had to be Big Papi. Kelly and I walked to the backyard and sure enough there was Papi and the dog. They were just lying there together like it was nothing. We stood there for five minutes just watching. It was an incredible sight. While we were watching our truck showed up to transport Papi to the Sanctuary. We knew we couldn’t leave him here anymore. He was just too big and people would freak out if he kept coming into yards. We didn’t want someone to shot him next time he decided to take a nap in someone’s yard. After the truck showed up, I started heading down to Papi to let him know what was going on.

“Okay Big Papi, here’s the deal. I need you to come with me to a safer place. I don’t want to get a phone call saying you had been shot. You are going to love the Sanctuary. You’ll have your own little pond and no other alligators to bother you. Plus I’ll get to visit almost every day. So what do you say? You wanna come with us and live a pampered life?”

Apparently he liked the idea, because he started heading out way. I got the dog and gave him back to his owner. Then we started walking Papi to the truck. Pretty soon we had a nice size crowd watching. It’s not every day you get to see a fourteen foot gator. We got him out by the truck and began to wonder if he was going to fit. We were also concerned with his weight. There was no telling how much he weighed. As we were trying to figure it out, gentlemen came forward and let us know he had a flat bed hooked to his truck we could use. While he went to get his truck, I got Papi ready for his trip. I sat down in front of him, rubbed his head and told him everything was going to be okay. He really seemed to enjoy the head rub. When the truck got there we had to wake him up to get him moving. I wish I had video of us trying to load this massive alligator onto this truck. It took almost thirty minutes to get him up and secured onto the bed. I decided to ride next to him to keep him calm. I just rubbed his head and put him to sleep. The ride took over an hour due to traffic. People would pull over just to watch us go by. We had to have the police help us get through traffic. We finally made it to the back of the Sanctuary near Papi’s new home. Kelly had them block off the back part to keep visitors from getting too close. Of course that didn’t stop the crowd from forming. We got Papi off the back of the truck and took him to his new home. When Papi came into view of the crowd you could hear the gasp, and oh my goodness sounds. I guess it would be strange to see two people walking right beside a giant alligator. We finally got him in and let the crowd come in closer. Kelly and I let Papi explore his new home before doing anything else. We had a vet there to do some test to make sure everything was okay with him. After ten minutes we got Papi to lie down so the vet could get some blood. I don’t know who was more nervous the vet or the crowd. When the check-up was done, I fed Papi his chicken and left to give him time to settle in.

It was fun getting to visit Papi more. We even started doing little routines to teach people about alligators. It was so much fun, seeing people’s reaction while I sat on the ground with Papi’s head in my lap. It was fun and educational. I learned a lot about Papi and myself. It was defiantly a learning experience for us all.


	14. My Nightmare

For the first time in a long time life was going great. I spent a lot of time either working on the house or visiting Papi. Having time off was great. I got to spend my seventeenth birthday with my three brothers Mike, Jesse and Jason. We had it out in Los Angeles since that’s where they were. Not that it mattered where it was as long as my family was there.

After having a year off from work I was ready to go back. Sounds crazy but I was ready to do something. The first thing to pop up was a volunteer mission in Iraq. All I was to do was help rebuild a war torn city. I volunteered figuring it would be an easy trip. Getting to help others is easier than anything I’d done so far for work. We left on May 10, 2007, headed for Basra, Iraq. I would be working with an Army unit. I was the only civilian with ten military. This first trip was mainly to let the citizens know why we were there and to see what work needed to be done, which by the way was a lot. These poor people had been through hell. All they wanted was to live in peace and not be afraid. You couldn’t blame them; everyone wants that in their lives. And believe it or not I actually had fun. We did our thing and then let whoever was in charge know what we needed. On the seventeenth we took a day off and had a little fun. I found three little boys that wanted to show me how to play one of their games. So all morning we played this game that I never figured out. Every time I thought I did, they would change the rules on me. I think they just wanted to see what crazy things they could make this American do. And I did plenty that would have cracked my brothers up if they had seen me. It was nice to see them laughing and playing. When we got there they were quiet and shy so it was great to see them acting like children. We were having so much fun; I didn’t pay much attention to anything else. That was a big mistake. As we were running down a road, three shots rang out. I grabbed the boys and found the nearest house. I told them to stay there until one of us came to get them. I ran towards the shots and found one of the soliders lying on the ground. I ran out to him hoping he would be alright.

“Ma’am you need to get out of here. They’re not that far from here.”

“I’m not going to leave you here!”

"I’m not going to make it so you need to leave me here.”

“That doesn’t mean you have to die alone. I’m staying right here. Just talk to me. Tell me about yourself.”

“My name is Jose Ramierz and I’m from San Diego, California. I’m twenty-three. This is my first tour over here and looks like my last.”

“Okay, I’m Lily and this is also my first tour. Now tell me about your family. Tell me about them.”

“It’s my parents and my two sisters and brother. We are a very close family. We did everything together. Can you please tell them I love them and not to be sad. This is what I wanted to do and I would do it over if I could.”

“I promise I will. They will know how brave and strong their son was all the way to the end. Everyone will know what you’ve done.”

Now I’ve dealt with death most of my life but this was one of the hardest. Jose’s unit came by and tried to get me to leave him there. Whoever was shooting was getting closer.

“We are not leaving Jose here. You grab him and get to safety. There are three little boys in that house over there. Grab them before you leave. I’ll distract our guest and draw their fire away. No arguments now go.”

I didn’t give them a chance to argue. I ran towards the shooters and got their attention. I did a really good job because they all started following me. I was able to outrun them for a while but eventually they caught me.

I woke up tied to a chair, surrounded by people. As soon as their leader saw I was awake he started questioning me.

“الذي يكون أنت? ماذا يكون أنت تتمّ هنا?” (Who are you? What are you doing here?)

“I’m sorry I have no idea what you’re saying. I only speak English.”

“أنت تعرف ماذا أنا أكون أقول. الآن أجبت الأسئلة. ماذا يكون أنت يتمّ هنا?” (You know what I am saying.   
Now answer the questions. What are you doing here?)

“I really don’t understand you. Sorry.”

“كافي! يضعه فوق في المنزل. أنا سأعالج مع ه فيما بعد.” (Enough! Put her in the house. I’ll deal with her later.)

They took me to another building, this one without windows. They tied me to a chair and left. I tried looking around to see if I could figure out where I was. It was pitch black so I couldn’t see a thing. I’m not sure how long they kept me in there. It felt like hours but it was hard to tell. After a while they came back in and asked the same questions. I kept up with the whole ‘I don’t understand you’ routine. After some time I think they finally believed me. They left me alone again and didn’t return until the next day. This time the questioning was done in English.

“Now let’s try this once more. Who are you and what are you doing here?”

“I’m just an American civilian who came here wanting to help.”

“Help with what? To kill more of my people, to destroy our homes?”

“No, I came here to help rebuild the cities. I want to help your people try to get back to a normal life. I’m not here to hurt anyone or take anything away.”

“We’ve heard all this before but as you can see it was all a lie. Your people don’t care about my people. All you want to do is kill us all and get home. We mean nothing to you. To make things even we will take out as many of you as we can.”

“Not all of us feel that way. Many of us want this war to end and for everyone to be able to live in peace.”

“Enough lies, you want no such thing. You only want peace for yourselves and no one else. We are done here, let’s go.”

Once again they left me in the chair, in the dark. I think another day went by before they came back in. They let me out of the chair and began to beat me. After that an Iraqi woman came in to clean me off and to give me some food. As she was bathing me she talked to me. I knew what they were trying to do. They wanted me to slip up and answer one of her questions. I wasn’t going to make it that easy for them. I just sat there, thanked her twice and said nothing else. I wasn’t going to let them break me that quickly or easily.

Every day after that was the same thing. Get woke up, beating, questioned, fed (not every day) and then left alone. Not sure how long it had gone on. I lost all track of time and my days. I’m not sure how long I’d been there but I was ready to get out of there. I spent so much time alone I started working on ways to get out. Every way I came up with I ended up getting killed. So I waited and waited, hoping someone would find me but nothing. As the hours went by I started to feel like I was never going to get out of there. I started saying my good-byes and making amends for all my sins. They must have had someone watching me because the next time they came in, they started doing things different. The first thing they did was lay me down on the ground and tied me to some stakes. Then their leader came in. Instead of asking me questions he walked over to me with a knife and held it to my throat. I was waiting for him to cut me; instead he slowly started cutting into my flesh. I could feel the blade against my throat but it wasn’t as painful as I thought it would be. I could tell he was spelling something but couldn’t make it out. He worked quietly for some time before he finally stood up and left. They untied me and left. Not one person said anything. I had no idea what was going on. I tried to see if I could feel what he had written. As soon as I touched my throat I instantly pulled my hand away. Whatever it was, it wasn’t enough to do any real damage just a lot of pain.

After that he would come in every day and do the same thing. After he was done he would allow the others to take turns raping me. This went on for so long I started to go numb. I just laid there and let them do whatever they wanted to do to me. I started to feel as if I was really going to die here in the middle of nowhere. I started to give up, not wanting to do anything but lie here and die. They didn’t say much to me after all this. They came in, did their thing and left. Every once and awhile I would hear them outside talking about what they were going to be doing. I tried to listen to as much as I could incase I did make it out of there. Hoping I would but didn’t think I would.

Time seemed to fly by quickly, which was good for me. By now I was starting to forget a lot that had happened to me. I was blacking out a lot. I guess that was good except I have no idea what was going on while I was out. I stopped listening to what they were saying. Half the time I couldn’t understand them, I was in and out so much. Finally there was one day no one had come in. It was like clockwork everyday so I knew something was going on. Maybe they had had enough of me and were preparing to kill me. Which was a welcoming thought, I was ready to die by this time. As I was lying there I heard a noise in one of the corners. I looked in the corner but couldn’t see anything because of the dark. I rubbed my eyes and looked again. This time I could see a light in the corner. There was someone sitting there watching me. I tried to see who it was but couldn’t.

“Whose there? Come out so I can see you! Come out here now!!!”

The figure slowly moved towards me but I still couldn’t see who it was.

“Who are you? Please answer me!”

“You have nothing to fear my child; soon this will be all over.”

I knew that voice the moment I heard it but it was impossible.

“Grandpa is that you?”

“Yes Lily, I’m here to help you get through this.”

“Grandpa, I don’t think I’m going to make it through this. I can’t handle much more.”

“You can do this Lily. Now is the time to put your training into play. Today is the day you get out of here and start heading home. No arguing now is the time.”

The light slowly started to fade and then he was gone. I broke down not sure what I was supposed to do. I started going through everything I had trained in, trying to find something that would help me out. Then I remembered something that would help.

The next time they came in they found me lying on the ground. They checked for a pulse but didn’t find one. The leader told one of his men to take me out and bury me. As he carried me out I started to slowly raise my heartbeat. He laid me down on the ground and started to dig my grave. I slowly got to my feet, grabbed his neck and twisted. I grabbed his gun and found a place I could hide. One by one I started shooting. I got all of them except for their leader; I saved him for last. I wanted to make him suffer just like he made me suffer. I shot him in both legs making sure he couldn’t take off running. I sat down and watched him for several minutes. He began begging me to spare his life. There was no chance of that happening. I was spared no mercy and was not about to give him any. After several minutes I walked over to him, pulled out a knife and began to carve the word Devil into his throat just as he did mine. The whole time I never said one word to him. When I knew his time was up, I said one thing to him “قلت الشيطانة [إي] يقال مرحبا.’(Tell the Devil I said hello) His eyes got really big and before he could say one more word I shot him in the head. I was finished dealing with these people. It was time for me to go home. I picked a direction and started walking. I had a little bit of food and water with me. Just had to hope someone found me soon. Hopefully that someone was a good guy. Every now and then I would stop, have a drink, relax and then continue on my way. It took a couple of days before I finally saw people heading towards me. By this time I was out of food and water and in tremendous pain. I heard the vehicle coming closer to me. It stopped a ways from me and two people stepped out. I dropped to my knees too weak to move. Everything was blurry so I couldn’t see who was coming close to me. The last thing I remember was just praying these guys were friendly. But if not I hoped it would be quick.


	15. Recovery

I remember waking up and seeing all these people around me. Someone was telling me I was going to be okay and that I was amongst friends. After that I was out. The next time I remember waking up I could see I was in a different place.

Later on a doctor came in, introduced himself and proceeded to tell me what was going on. I have no idea what he said. Nothing seemed to register in my brain at that point. It took a week before I was able to understand what was going on. My injuries were numerous. I suffered from head trauma, cuts, bruises, deep lacerations in my throat, and the list went on and on. I went through physical, emotional, and mental abuse. I was in such bad shape I was amazed they kept telling me I was in good shape.

After a month I finally asked when I was found. I wanted to know how long those maniacs kept me locked up. I was told the soldiers found me on December fifth.

“December fifth? That wasn’t very long. It seemed like a lot longer.”

“There’s a reason why it felt longer Leilani. You were taking on May 17, 2007 and were found on December 5, 2008. You were held for over a year and a half.”

“What! A year and a half? Are you kidding me? I was really gone for that long?”

“Leilani please relax. You need to save your strength. There will be plenty of time to ask questions later.”

I couldn’t believe it, a year and a half I was gone. I know I said it was a long time but never in my wildest dreams did I think it was that long. I don’t know how I survived that long.

Recovery was not fun at all. I finally got my questions answered though. I was in the military hospital Walter Reed Army Medical Center in Washington D.C. I was brought here the beginning of the year from Iraq. For awhile they didn’t think I was going to make it, which is why they waited a month before they moved me. My brothers each took turns coming to check up on me. Mike was the first one to stop by.

“Hey lil sis how ya feeling today?”

“A little better I guess. It’s easier to talk today and the pain meds are working great. How are things going with you?”

“You know me, everything is awesome. It’s a lot better than it was a year ago. I can’t begin to tell you how bad it was. I never once forgot about you but there were times when I tried not to think about it. But the fans found out and I got asked the same question so many times. Have they found your sister yet? And every day I had to break their hearts.”

“Wow. Didn’t realize I had that big of an impact on people. How did they react to the great news that I was found alive?”

“I remember it well. We were at a house show when we got the news. We were just getting ready to start when my phone rang. I asked if I could go out and make the announcement. Of course they said yes. So I went out, got on the mic and let the crowd know you were found. That place just erupted, cheering and quite a few tears, more than a few actually. You got the biggest reaction of the night. Everyone’s glad you’re safe at home.”

“So am I. Glad I get to see my awesome big brother again. I love you so much Mike.”

“Love you too little sister.”

Loved hearing how much I affected everyone. Getting to spend time with Mike made me realize how lucky I am to be alive. Next I got to spend time with brother number two Jesse.

“Hey Jesse, how’s my big brother doing?”

“Doing much better now, how are you feeling? Better I hope?”

“Much, much better. I think they’re going to let me out of here soon. I’m starting to drive them crazy. So how has life been treating you while I was gone?”

“Not too good actually. Not long after you went missing, Teresa was killed.”

“Oh my god! Jesse, I’m so sorry. Did they get the guy who did it?”

“I know who did it but I don’t have enough proof to arrest him. I will get him one day. Just have to be patient and wait until he messes up. But right now the important thing is getting you better and out of this place.”

“I’m hoping I’ll get out of here soon. I can do my rehab at home instead of inside the hospital. I’ll just need some help at home.”

“I think I can help with that. I’m transferring back to Miami. Plus you’re friend Justin moved to Miami. I’m sure he would LOVE to help you out.”

“Jesse Cordoza don’t say it like that. Justin and I are just friends nothing more.”

“That was then Lily, you’ve grown a lot since he last saw you. You never know how he’s going to react.”

“Yeah, yeah whatever. Gotta love my big brother.”

“Love you too sis.”

I loved spending time with Jesse. Didn’t care for the bad news but I know he will get the guy who did it.

Pretty soon I was able to talk the doctors into letting me out of the hospital. They set me up with some home   
care. Someone was going to come over every day except weekends. I got at least two days off from all the torture. Two days to sit and relax before starting over again. I even got to travel home with my third big brother Jason. At least we didn’t have to visit in a hospital. We got to spend our time on a private jet heading towards home.

“Can’t wait to get home can you? Don’t blame you one bit. I’m ready for you to get home.”

“I know it seems like it’s been years since I’ve been home and yes I know it has, it just seems a lot longer. I’m afraid to see the house though. It was a mess when I left can’t image how it looks now.”

“You know you have nothing to worry about right. Your family took care of everything while you were gone. We wanted to make sure everything was taken care of when you got home. We made sure you had nothing to do but relax and get better.”

“And I love each and every one of you for it. After six months in the hospital, I’m ready for some relaxation. I’m ready to get back on my feet and back to my normal life.”

“Now hold on right there. You are not going back to your normal life. You need to find a better, safer job. No more of this dangerous bullshit. You are not going to put us through something like this again.”

“Calm down Jason. I didn’t mean that. My contract is up October first and I’ve already told Mark I wasn’t coming back. And I’m sure his reaction was the same as yours.”

“Sorry can’t help it, finally get to spend time as a family. Something you should have had a long time ago. I love you sis.”

“I love you too big brother.

I wish our flight was longer. Jason and I began making plans for when I got better. Things normal families did together, including dinners and holidays. It was working out great except for Mike. He’s the only one that doesn’t live in Florida. But I knew we’d work something out. When we finally got to the house I had a huge surprise waiting for me. Jason had me close my eyes as we got closer. When he let me open them I couldn’t believe what I saw. Anyone and everyone were standing in the front yard. There was a huge banner that said ‘Welcome Home Lily.’ I couldn’t believe it. People from Mike and Jason’s work were there, many of them I knew, some I didn’t. Jesse’s co-workers stopped by to introduce themselves. If you were looking down from the sky, my front yard would have been missing, there were that many people there. It took some time before I made it to the front door. When I finally did, Justin was waiting for me. And with that to die for accent he welcomed me home. He opened the door and I almost fell out of my wheelchair. They had finished the entire inside of the house just the way I wanted it. Everything was finished including the upstairs, not that I got to see it. It was absolutely beautiful. I couldn’t believe they did all of that just for me. It almost made me jealous that I didn’t get to help but at the same time I’m glad I didn’t have to do all that work. On top of seeing my beautiful house, everyone brought in a different dish. There was so much food we could have fed the next neighborhood as well. It was great spending time with friends and making new ones. It was great to finally be back home.

After everyone went home it got really quiet. For the first time in awhile I started thinking about what I had been through. I’ve always had people around me talking and keeping my mind busy. Now there was no one around to help keep my mind busy. I ran everything through my head. From the day I was taking to the day I was free. Every little detail went running through my head. I could hear Jose’s voice telling me to leave and then about his family. I could see those three boys playing and running. Every sound and smell I could recreate in my mind. It was too much, I tried to keep myself busy but not much helped. I made it through the first day but my first night was just as bad as if it was happening again.

As soon as I closed my eyes it all came back. I kept my eyes open for as long as I could. Eventually sleep got the best of me. The nightmare must have been pretty bad. I don’t remember exactly what happened. It could have been any number of events that happened to me. The next morning I got to see just how bad it was. My room had been trashed. So much was broken. I’m not sure how I did all this since I couldn’t stand for more than five seconds before I had to sit down. It looked like someone broke in and just ransacked the room looking for something. I knew that no one was in there. When my therapist got there I showed her what had happened. She told me it was possible for me to do this. Sleepwalkers are capable of doing so much. They can’t feel pain, so walking was possible.

We got started on my rehab for the next two hours. It was more pain for me to go through. Every step was so painful. I kept at it because I wanted to get out of that wheelchair. It was kinda fun to wheel around but I was ready to start walking. Jesse came by to see how things were going. I showed him my room and told him that I did it. He started joking about not messing with me and keeping his doors locked. He’s such a sweet loving brother. He told me not to worry about it; he’d stop by after work to clean it up. I would have tried to do it myself but it wouldn’t have been easy. I could only get so far into my room. I never realized how much I missed being able to walk. Not being able to do the things I use to do was difficult. I couldn’t imagine this kind of life but unfortunally many people do. I was beginning to understand a little part of their lives. Even making dinner was difficult for me. When Jesse came over he fixed us dinner and then cleaned up my room. He was going to stay with me that night to make sure I was alright. That night the same thing happened. Jesse said he tried to wake me up but I attacked him. So he closed my door and let me go about my business. He did make sure I didn’t hurt myself. The next morning Jesse told me what had happened. He even showed me where I attacked him. I knew it wasn’t my fault but it still felt like it was. After that night Jesse decided it wasn’t safe for me to be alone. So he did the only thing he said he could do. He asked Justin if he would move in with me. Of course he said he would love to. My family and friends just love to mess with me. It was okay though. Me and my brothers decided to let Justin join our dysfunctional family. I’d love for him to be something other than a brother but decided against it. I’d rather have him as a brother and be in his life forever. If it didn’t work out between us, we’d go our separate ways and never see each other again. I didn’t want that to happen. He’s been a part of my life for seven years; I didn’t want to lose him. So he moved in and helped out when he could. When Justin had to go to work then Jesse would stay with me.

The nightmares got much worse before they got better. The doctors told everyone not to wake me up while I was sleepwalking. I had to let it run its course and hope I’d snap out of it. My room was almost bare; anything I could break was removed. In order for me to try to understand it, I began to record what happened. I was hoping if I saw what was happening I could try to control it. It was terrifying seeing me do these things, so much hatred and violence. I knew where those feelings were coming from but it was still scary. Even listening to myself scared me, I would begin in English and end with a completely different language. Throughout the whole thing I would speak several languages. There were two I didn’t know. And I thought Grandpa had taught me every language out there including dead ones. But those two I didn’t know at all, so I had no idea what I was saying. Every night was the same thing. This went on for two months. Trying to do my rehab on little sleep was not easy or fun. I began to fight with my therapist, not wanting to do anything. I even wanted to stop doing my rehab. I just wanted to give up and die. I didn’t want any part of my life anymore. After a week of hearing this, my therapist called my doctor and explained what was going on. He put me on some stronger medicine to help me sleep. He was hoping with enough sleep my mind would fix itself. I didn’t think more drugs would help but I was willing to try anything. I just wanted my life back and the nightmares to end. Maybe talking about what was bothering me would help. When my therapist came back, I began to tell her about my life. I told her the same thing I’m telling you. I hoped telling my story would help me understand the anger and hatred I was feeling. I could tell after a week my mood started changing. My work ethic changed, I was ready to get my rehab finished. My nightmares weren’t as violent as before. They were still scary but I wasn’t sleepwalking like before. Everything was finally falling into place.

It took three months before I could finally get out of that wheelchair. I upgraded to a cane for help getting around. My first day using a cane, I took a trip to the Sanctuary. I wanted to let Papi see that I was okay. Plus I wanted to be able to go inside his home without getting stuck. Justin had the day off so I let him take me out there. It was the first time he’d seen Papi. I was excited for the two of them to meet each other. Kelly was waiting for us with a golf cart. She didn’t want me to walk all the way to Papi. As we were heading to his home, Kelly told me about the new guest. They’ve had so many animals brought in. People just don’t understand that keeping wild animals as pets is the wrong idea. As we got closer my excitement grew. I was ready to finally see my good friend. Kelly pulled up to Papi’s gate and I got out, unlocked the door and walked in. I stomped on the ground three times and Papi came flying out of the water. He stopped immediately and just stared at me. Once he realized it was me he ran up to me. I sat down on the ground, he put his head on my lap and I started to rub his head. For a while we sat there just taking it all in. then I started telling him how much I missed him and what I had gone through. That was some of the best therapy I’ve had in a long time. I sat with Papi for two hours talking and petting. The crowd was beginning to form and was taking pictures. It’s not every day you see someone petting an alligator.

After that going to the Sanctuary was part of my daily rehab. I got to work three to four hours a day taking care of the animals. It was the highlight of my day getting to meet the new animals and working with them. Kelly even let me help with the education program. I love seeing the look on the kid’s faces when we bring out the different animals.

Finally the end of a very long year was over. The holidays were as Mike says awesome. Our family got together including our two new members. I met Kyle at Jesse’s work one day. He was doing some extra work in the coroner’s office. We got to talking and found we had some things in common. I told him about our little family and asked if he would like to join. Like me he had a mother that wasn’t the best but he did have a father who cared about him. He asked if his father could join and I said why not. We could use a parent in the family. Kyle took me up to meet his dad and we ran into Jesse upstairs. When I told him what we were doing he started laughing.

“Alright, let me get this straight. You invited Kyle to be part of our family, which by the way is great. And your letting his dad join us as well?”

“If he wants too, we’re heading that way right now. Why is that a bad thing?”

“No it’s not that. It’s just you already know Kyle’s dad. You met him when you got out of the hospital.”

“Jesse, I’ve met so many people since then. If it’s someone you work with then I’ve met all of them too. Everyone you work with.”

“True but this one checks up on you at least once a week.”

“Whoa, your dad is Horatio?”

“Yeah, it that a problem?”

“No, it’s just he’s already like a father to me. It’ll be awesome to have him want to be my dad.”

Kyle and I ran to find his dad. When we caught up to him we told him our plan. He stared at us for the longest time before he said he would be honored to. That was definitely one of the happiest days of my life. I now had a family. I had five brothers and a dad. I couldn’t ask for a better family. So my year ended the way I’ve always dreamed it would, happy. The year 2010 was going to be a great year I know it. I retired from work, Mark made sure I did. I was helping out at the Sanctuary and getting ready to spend time with my three brothers Mike, Jason and Justin. Finally my life was heading in the right direction and hopefully it would stay that way.


	16. The Final Chapter

After six months in the hospital and six months of rehab I was finally ready to move on with my life. I started going to work with Mike full time. Just to get out of the house and away from Miami. Getting to travel to so many different places was awesome. After spending time with the guys I found myself getting closer to one of them. Ted and I found ourselves getting closer. The only problem was he was married. I was trying not to let myself get any closer but so hard to do. He’s just the perfect guy for me. My trip to Puerto Rico proved it. He talked me into going back for the first time since I was seven. I’d been too afraid to return to my old home. The guys had talked me into going so I agreed. Ted and I ended up traveling together. We were the first ones there so I had to stay with him. As we were sitting in the hotel he talked me into renting a car and going to my old home. While we were getting our car I was talking to one of the guys that worked there. I was telling him where we were going and found out his father was the one that saved my life. Louis still lived in the house.

My old house was empty and for sell. Apparently it’s been up for sale since that day. Everyone knows the story and no one wants to live in it. Can’t really blame them, I wouldn’t want to live there either. So we drove out to my nightmare. Louis saw us walking up and asked if we wanted to buy it. I turned around and told him I’ve lived there once and that was enough. I thought he was going to have a heart attack when he realized who I was. He asked me if I wanted to go inside. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to but Ted said I should. It took me a few minutes before I was able to go in. When we walked in my heart sank. Everything was the way it was all those years ago. Louis said they left the furniture there for staging. The only thing missing was our pictures, those had been replaced. As we walked through the house memories kept flooding back. I had some good memories of my mother in that house. Except for that one night that change how I looked at my life. We finally made our way to my old room. My first reaction was nausea. I had to turn away to keep from getting sick. Ted didn’t try to make me go in, this time he asked me if I wanted to leave. I knew I had to go in. I had to finally face my fears once and for all. So I headed into the room and started telling Ted and Louis what happened that night. Going through the motions, I don’t know why, I started to feel a huge weight lifted off my shoulders. Maybe finally confronting my demons made them go away. I felt so much better after that visit. Afterwards Louis invited Ted and me over for dinner. He said he had some things for me to look at. Grandma had asked him to go through the house and keep some things in case I ever decided to come back. While he was cooking dinner, Ted and I went through the boxes. I found pictures of me as a baby and growing up, things I’ve never seen. I’m really glad I came out here. As we were eating it started to rain. I knew we weren’t going to leave that night. There’s this one road that is very bad to drive on when it rains. And after all these years they still haven’t fix it. Louis let us stay in his guest room. Staying the night with Ted was interesting. I had to keep telling myself not to get involved, he’s married. I don’t need that in my life. I do have to admit I had a great time with him.

The next day we said good-bye to Louis and headed back to our hotel. When we got there, Randy was just pulling in. The three of us decided to head to the beach and relax. Which is easier said than done. Either they were being asked for autographs or just stared at, or I was being watched. So we decided to head back to the hotel and find something to do there. When we got back Mike was just checking in and of course he started asking questions. How long I’d been there, what was I doing, just the normal big brother questions. And of course I started from the beginning and told him everything that happened. I find it easier to just tell him the truth; he doesn’t get as upset and usually drops the subject. This time he didn’t though. He took me inside and started telling me I needed to stay away from Ted. Not that he isn’t a nice guy, just that Mike really didn’t want us dating. I told him he didn’t have to worry since Ted was married. That’s when I found out I was wrong. Ted’s wife left him three months ago. Technically he was still married but they were separated. I asked Mike why he didn’t like Ted. He told me he does but didn’t want me to have to deal with an ex-wife. I didn’t really have a problem with that; the only thing I was concerned with was the woman he worked with. Don’t really care for her, she’s a really big you-know-what. Mike and I sat there and talked for about an hour about the whole thing. I really liked Ted and enjoyed spending time with him. After our talk I went back up to my room. Ted was lying there waiting for me to get done with Mike. I didn’t tell him everything at first. I just told him that Mike didn’t like me hanging out with him. He didn’t want me to get involved with a married man. Ted sat quietly for a few minutes before he finally told me about him and his wife. I told him I already knew, that Mike told me. Mike also told me if I really wanted to date Ted then it was okay with him. So me and Ted stayed in our room the rest of the day and talked. We decided we would give us a try, to see how things would work out.

Skip ahead a few months and my life is absolutely perfect. I moved away from Miami to Mississippi. I hated leaving my family but we’re still close. Found a beautiful old house that I get to spend all day working on. Get to spend my days with my best friend, our lab Riggs. Plus I get to see my wonderful fiancé when he gets home. A month after we left Puerto Rico I moved in with Ted. He quickly got his divorce done and then asked me to marry him. Of course I said yes, I’d be stupid if I didn’t. Everything is going great for me for once. My family has been out to see me including Mike, who is very happy for me. He finally got over that no dating a wrestler thing. This is good since I’m going to be marrying one. So that is my life so far. I’m planning on many, many more years, all of them with Ted and our children, even though that is a few years away for us. But I know in the end everything will work itself out. You just need a little faith and a wonderful caring family. Maybe before my life ends I’ll finish the story of my life.


End file.
